Thursday, May 21, 2009

More on Motivation

I am having a harder time working on this car than the last one. It isn't that i don't want to do the work. It isn't that I don't have the time. Oddly enough, it doesn't have to do with my skill level, which it did at the onset of the last project.

I think that this go round, I simply do not feel the same need for stress relief that I felt at this point in the last project.

Why is it that our accomplishments seem to come during those times that we are stressed?

It would appear that most times that I have done really exceptionally well; I have felt some urgent stressor to get to work.

So tonight I am going to examine this relationship. I think there are really only a few things in life that can motivate us.

Things that we want to accomplish can motivate. We want the next promotion, the next level in our savings account, the next loan paid off, those five fewer strokes off of our golf game. These sorts of stressors are usually self-inflicted, and have to do with whatever it is that we are interested in at the time.

Things that others want can also motivate. Your wife wants the bathroom back during a remodelling project. Your boss wants the sale you are working on to be complete. Your friends want to go out for a beer while you are working on either of the above.

Finally, things that your morals dictate will motivate. You have to stop at the side of the road and help that family with the broken or stuck car. You have to get to church by eight on Sunday. You have to be a patient and loving parent.

So why cant I get to work on this car?

Well, i think it goes like this. I have illustrated before that I likely have enough toys as it is, so the drive to finish the car isnt as great because I already have a Sunday Cruiser. In addition, My other toys need time as well, so that limits the time that I could be spending. This addresses the "things that I want" category.

Nobody that I know really cares when the car is done. For once, this is a project that I am working on for me and me alone. So that stressor also is absent.

Needless to say, there isnt a moral stressor to accomplish this restoration.

Which begs the question, "why am I letting this bother me if there is no stress to finish the job?"

Because it begs the question is the answer. It is clear at this point that I do find the job to be important, just maybe not as important at this time of the year as the other things that are going on.

So what do you do when you want to get something done, but dont want to get it done bad enough to be stressed about it? I think in this case, I am going to have to just make it a priority, whether I feel that I have to do so or not. otherwise the thing is just going to sit in my garage and take up space. And i think that this exact phrase may just be the stressor that I need. It is taking up space in the garage. If I get it done, at least I will be able to play with it.

Im going to go get to work.
Good night.
Greg

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Patience.

Each time that I jot some notes here, I try to make sure that it is a form of discovery for me. Not so much that the writing is a source of discovery, but that the process of communicating the ideas helps me to organize whatever it is that my mind is whirring about with.

Today's thought is patience. It does not seem to make much of a difference what the subject matter is. Whatever your goal is, the end result will be much more satisfactory if you treat it with some patience.

I am living proof of a person's capacity to get a lot of work done in a very short amount of time. My biggest character flaw however, has been a lack of patience. Most people that I know can tell you a story about something that I have been involved with that turned out well, but could have been even better if i had "just spent a little more time."

Patience. I worked on three separate projects today. All three of them turned out very well in my opinion, but could have been just average. Today I had patience. What was the difference from my usual get it done attitude?

Job one: Foose's window tint. I am by no means a window tinting expert. But I've done enough of it in the past to have learned patience the hard way. I would say I managed to pull off a semi-professional quality job on the windows today due to my own capacity for patience. Why? Not my car, and I wanted it to be perfect. It will be close once it cures.

Job two: Mrs. Onslager's Driveway. Our across-the-street neighbor has a gravel drive that was sort of washed out by storm water. My other neighbor, we'll call him the Iowan, we haven't introduced him yet, brought his skid steer home yesterday so that I could gather up some gravel and re-grade the driveway with it. Again, I exercised some patience with the equipment, and the result looks fantastic.

Job three: My own kids. Likely enough said. I tend to find that even when you are frustrated by the fact that your kids have the attention span of a flashbulb, exercising a little patience really will change the frustration to enjoyment of your time with them.

As I set about examining this idea today, I sort of found that it applies to most areas of life. Those people who are most financially stable seem to also be the ones who are most patient in their quest to acquire the things they want to own. Those who are revered as skilled craftsmen are also know for being nit-picky, which is just another word for patient. Those who practice a craft to perfection have exercised the p-word with one particular skill set to the point where us mere mortals may have become bored. Other places for extreme patience; Hunters, Carpenters, Masons, etc.

There do not seem to be areas in life which do not lend themselves well to the idea. I dare you to find a situation in which the quality of the result is not due to exercising the skill either in using or learning the process. Basketball players move very quickly and make very fast decisions. Without patience however, they do not spend the endless hours practicing, running drills, working out, losing games, etc, that get them to the top levels. It takes ALMOST A DECADE of school before you get to call yourself a doctor.

The very idea of continuing to work at something in spite of failure is a perfect example.

I am told, as I recall, that Thomas Edison failed to create a light bulb somewhere around 500 times before he didn't need a candle anymore. You have all used WD40. Ever wonder what it stands for? Water Displacement, 40th try. Patience.

In this day and age, most of us have the good fortune to be able to expect to live a good, healthy, and most importantly, long life. As you look at the things that you are doing, remember to take your time, know that you don't have to get it done right this minute, and most importantly, exercise patience.

In the words of Hootie ( sorry Mr. Rucker, you'll always be Hootie to me.... ) "It wont be like this for long...."

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Definition of the Sabbath

It has been some time since I have considered the keeping of the sabbath.

I suppose the most common definition of such is the 19th century, dont work, praise god, etc idea of it. I dont think that the idea works out so well in practice in the modern age.

Tonight I tried to come up with a better definition of what a sunday is for. It turns out that the definition is more of a list to me... I believe that the original idea of the sabbath was to focus on those things that are ultimately most important to you. In the early times, when food itself was hard to come by, I suppose that the definition of the sabbath that so easily springs to mind came out of necessity. It wasnt so much showing respect for god as it was hoping and trusting that if this ritual was followed, God himself would provide food and shelter for another week. Rightly so I think.

But in this day and age, although I do believe that my family and I are provided for to a great amount by the gifts we have been endowed with; I dont really think that the original idea of the sabbath is really quite as crucial.

As Ive stated, I think the real idea behind the sabbath, the seventh day if you will, is rest. Relaxation. Some time to be who you really are. Etc.

SO I compiled a list of my favorite things to do on a Sunday. I think that they really do reflect the sabbath ideology for me. I'll examine the commonalities of them after the list. I really do find it quite striking.

1. Take my kids and my friends out in the boat fishing.

2. Grill out with friends and neighbors.

3. Clean up the yard with my boys, be it snow or grass.

4. Watch the packers, live or on tv.

5. Visit my parents or my in-laws.

6. Play with my kids and thier friends.

7. Play with my own friends.

8. Eat too much.

9. Read.

Oddly enough, there are a lot of things intertwined into this list that I think really do reflect the idea of keeping the seventh day. The bible basically gives us the gist of it in genesis. "on the seventh day he rested"

It does not say that on the seventh day he dressed up in his best clothes, went to church at the crack of dawn, and fell on his knees. It says he rested.

Although I do believe that our Lord deserves to be worshipped and honored as often as possible, I also believe that the bible pretty clearly states that the seventh day is to be one of rest.

I think that my list illustrates exactly that sort of rest. I also find every item on it to be in some manner worshipful. Most of the things on it take place outdoors, with other people whom I care about. My list does not include going to the bar or partying with my buddies. Taking a kid fishing, for example, is to me the ultimate thing to do on a sunday. I am spending time with those most important to me, in a way that, I think, glorifies God. I am taking that young life out of the technologically bombarded world that we all live in, and placing him in direct communion with that which has been provided for him. When my son and I are in the boat, I am by and large, the only outside influence in his environment besides the occasional bluegill.

The same goes, in one fashion or another, for the rest of my list.

And so, I ask you to consider the sabbath. I wonder if you will find that your sundays are filled with the things that reflect a day of rest and enjoyment of what god has provided for you. Are you spending that day off with those people who matter most, who you can enjoy, who help you to relax, or are you spending it wrapped up in the world?

I believe that the original idea behind the seventh day was to regroup, to be appreciative of what has been done, and to be thankful for it. For some, that means a church service, for others it means some " quality time" with whomever it is that is most important to you on this planet.

In short, Glorifying God can sometimes be as simple as enjoying what he has given you.

In Jesus Name...
Greg

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Missing Children

First things first. I did not know the little girl we we searching for. I dont know her family. And I was only one of probably 200 or more people walking the fields and forests this afternoon. None of us were particularly special for being there.

Foose and I spent the afternoon today clearing trails on his property for the atv's. It wasn't very hard work, and of course we had to ride them for quite a while afterwords. Then, after my kids were done with naptime, Babe brought tank and turtle out, and we had to ride some more. It was a fun day... When the riding was done, we all ate dinner, and relaxed for a while.

During the course of dinner, we had heard some sirens and what not going past the house, didnt make much of it. Foose's mom called, informed us that a three year old girl was missing about a half mile away, and that the ems team was asking for help locating her. Since Babe was taking the kids home to go to bed, Foose and I set out across the fields on the quads to see if we could help.

We met with the person in charge of the scene, He assigned us to the group led oddly enough, by the apprentii.

Lesson one for today. Apprentii is my younger buddy. We met when he was about 16, and have spent many many hours together since. I'll get into that on another post. Suffice it to say that I had no idea how together the kid is until tonight. The guy is i think 22 now. He led a group of four firemen and probably 16 of us civilians on a search mission through fields and woods and swamps. He kept track of all of us, made sure nobody got lost, and that we were all going the right way. Kudos. And by the way, nobody had any question who was in charge.

Lesson two. I have not been this scared in a while. The whole time we were searching, I kept imagining tank. This little girl must be about his size. SO the two thoughts in my head were 1. I cant imagine if we were all out here looking for him, and 2. Where would he go if it was him. It was both heart wrenching and eye opening at the same time. At one point, I found myself walking along the edge of the woods and as I thought about where would tank go, I found myself looking under things, behind trees, imagining places that he would hide if he was alone and scared. I think that I learned a lot about my child this afternoon.

Lesson Three. We live in a very nice little area here. This little girl ( who is reportedly ok by the way) lives on a road that is i think about 2 miles long. By the time the search was over, that two mile stretch was literally parked full of cars. It looked like game day at lambeau. I would guess that there were at least 40 atv's either on trailers or on the sides of the road. Everybody that heard the call for help came out. It speaks volumes about the humanity of rural people.

Just a sidenote; Because of our rural environment, there was never a discussion of the possibility that this little girl was kidnapped or anything else; the tone in general was to question where she wandered off to. I love my neighborhood.

I hope that this was a once in a lifetime afternoon for me. I hope that I never have to help look for another missing child. Not that I am not willing to help, just that I hope no more go missing.

But unfortunately, it happens every day in one place or another.

I used to think that the parents who were "over protective" of their kids had it all wrong. You have seen these people. They are the ones at any given public outdoor event who have the toddlers on a leash. I always thought that if you were any kind of parent at all, you would know where your child was at any second, that the kid wouldnt be able to leave your sight, much less need the leash to keep him in check. Tonight, although i wont likely go buy the leashes, I found myself reflecting on how many times my kids are not supervised. When Ive got to just run in at the gas station, or when they are playing outside and I have to be in the house for a minute. Any parent can name a hundred examples of times that they have done these things. "I just left him for a second..."

By the way, it is a necessity of life. Sometimes you just have to pee. Or answer the phone. Or get something to eat. ( or even take a sanity break) It doesnt make you a bad parent.

There are two things that I imagine this experience has made me realize.

I dont think every parent CAN really supervise their kids every second of every day. Kids do go missing. Kids do get hurt and worse while the parents back is turned for that split second. There are sometimes horrible consequences. Facts are facts. It doesnt make them bad parents. Just like a car accident, sometimes things happen so fast, there isnt time to react even if you hadnt just run quick in the house.

I also dont think that parents SHOULD supervise their kids every minute once they reach a certain point. Some of the strongest memories that I have, some of the most formative ones for who I am today, happened in situations where, if my parents had been watching, they would have kicked my ass or worse. I am certain that you agree that an awful lot of who you are today has to do with your own independence, your own ability to make decisions. I very seldom worry about what turtle is doing at any given time, but yet, kids his age wander off all the time too.

And how do we learn to make decisions? You guessed it; usually by making the wrong ones first.
Our parents, like any good role models, had they been present, would have tried to prevent those mistakes. An illustration of this happened this afternoon. I was riding the new trails with turtle, and I kept stopping him, explaining how to take this curve, and that rut, and how to properly apex this corner, and what to do in this hill. He looked at me and asked one of the most astute questions of his young life. "Dad, Cant you just be quiet and let me ride?"

This seems to be one of the most central points of parenting. It is very hard for us to let go. All I want to do is wrap my boys in a big soft blanket and keep them safe until one of us dies of old age. But I cant do that. The most responsible thing for me to do is give them some space. To guide them where I can, and let them figure out the rest. Like the turtle just wanting to ride the trail, I cant over teach him. At some point, I have to trust that I have shown him at least how not to get hurt too badly, and that he knows enough from there to handle the situation. Today he took a wrong turn, and found himself lost. I interpreted his reaction to sit still and wait for me to find him ( i knew where he was) as evidence that he had been listening somewhere when they told him what to do if he ever got lost.

Think of all the things that your kids do that are hard for you to watch. The first time they ride a two wheeler. The first time you have to leave them in somebody else's care. The first day of school. Swimming lessons. Swimming in general. You get the idea. But if you dont let them try, how are they ever going to succeed? If I wrapped my boys up in fleece; They would surely live to adulthood unscathed, but how much damage to them will I have caused?

Back to the point. I dont know how this little girl wandered away from home today, but I do know that she is safe tonight. I just hope that my own willingness to allow my children freedom never requires the good hearted batch of folks that I saw today to straighten out.

Thank god for happy endings,
Greg