strength

merry Christmas everybody.

we all have a specific thing that we are particularly good at. Strong if you will.

For some of us, it is physical ability. We hit the gym, bulk up. see how many reps we can do. How ripped we are able to become.

Some of us try to be financially strong. How much money can we make, sock away, spend, How well can we be set in our financial lives.

There are those of us that attempt to be strong in soul. How strong can we make our relationship with the lord. How much can our music mean to us. How well are we able to get to know ourselves.

We try to be strong in our careers. The next level. the next promotion. the next great achievement. That next publishment if you are one of my researching friends.

And yet, there always seems to be a void in our lives regardless of how strong we may feel. There seems to be that weak spot for us. It is as if we spend so much effort making ourselves strong in one thing that we neglect the opposite of it. yin and yang.

I know many workaholic folks who have no home life. By contrast, I know lots of folks with great home lives who are not successful at work. I know that this gets back to the balance that I talked about a few posts ago, but it it a fascinating concept.

What I think is that we all need to pay attention to where our strengths lie.

The best possible example is a friend of mine who gets into bodybuilding. When he was just starting out, he focused on building his upper body. After a short time, he discovered that he was not gaining as much mass as he thought he should have been able to. Much to his own chagrin, he hired a personal trainer. He told the guy that he wanted to get big, ripped, whatever.

Do you know what happened? The personal trainer took him off of weights and started him on a cross-training routine for cardio. Then when he had gained some physical fitness, they started into the weight room. the created a routine that encompassed most of the major muscle groups in his body.

My friend did indeed get "big." And it happened very quickly. But it only happened because that trainer started out by focusing on the weak spots in the body.

We can all learn a lesson from this. If you have been working out the spots in your life where you are already strong, perhaps it is time to evaluate yourself. start working the things that you are not so good at. you know, the things that your spouse complains about.

You might be amazed at the degree of self satisfaction you find yourself with.

May god bless and keep you.
May he make his face shine upon you.
go in peace and serve the lord.
thanks be to god.
merry christmas.

Friendship

I have commented before about the fact that Babe and I are blessed with a group of very close friends.

Today is the birthday of one of them. Thinking about this last night caused me to re-examine how very close she has become to us. So today I'm going to brag her up a little bit.

Things that I love about this woman.

She is an absolutely fantastic cook. I cannot begin to describe some of the dishes that she has made for us.

I would trust her with my children in any situation. As a matter of fact, my boys do not allow her to leave their presence without a hug, and when the conversation turns to a visit; it very quickly becomes the only subject on the minds of turtle and tank.

This person is a loving mother and wife. I believe that she tends to be the glue holding her household together. Her husband, Foose, is my best friend, and like me, he tends to be pulled in many different directions at once, sometimes not leaving as much time at home as he might like. Like my wife, Foose's wife somehow manages to reinstall balance to her household.

She seems to be involved in every possible aspect of our church. Her generosity with her time and her talents is well known, and she does seem to be one of those people who is known as somebody you can call on for help.

I cannot count the number of times that she has picked up my children from daycare, or watched them when they were sick, or taken care of them in some other fashion.

By now, I imagine that you can understand why we value her friendship so much... Who wouldn't? I know that we are not alone in this, as her other friends also feel the same way. Anytime you manage to connect with somebody who becomes so reliable a support mechanism for you, of course you are going to value your relationship with them to a high degree.

And so, with that, I am wishing her a very happy birthday. I hope that she knows that she is valued, that she is respected, and that we all love her.

Happy Birthday Jody.

on hope and achievement.

hope. as per websters...

intransitive verb 1 : to cherish a desire with anticipation
: to desire with expectation of obtainment
2 : to expect with confidence : trust
synonyms see expect

what is it about hoping for something? Why does the human organism find pleasure in trying to see the future? In attempting to predict what may or may not happen next?

do we feel that if we hope something happens, and then it does happen; that we have somehow made it so? is it a god complex?

The thing about the definition listed is that word, expectation. expect. The comparison tonight is that I expect that the tank and the turtle WILL keep their rooms clean. I expect that they will heed the words of their mother. I expect that turtle will not come home from kindergarten with a yellow light. But i dont hope for these things.

Expectations have consequences. SO what are the ramifications of hoping for something that doesnt pan out?

The point is that websters has a bad definition here. An inaccurate synonym if you will.

case in point. I said that I expect that Turtle will not come home with a note from school. I hope, by contrast, that nobody picks on him on the bus. Expectations are something held by those in control of a situation. I can offer some influence on his behavior in the classroom. I am not able to influence the bus ride.

And really, when you think of it, the things about which you would consider yourself hopeful are normally well beyond your own control. If they were in your control, you would not hope for them, you would just make it so.

All of this is not really tonights point. If I had really wanted to work with hope and hope alone, I would have just used the "hopes for a promotion" definition.

The idea tonight has more to do with the old " where do you see yourself " question.

You cannot expect anything in the future of your life. You dont know. You have no control. Because you never know what is going to happen next. Look at the news sometime. Pick any story and tell me that the central figure had any idea that they would be on the news today. you dont know.

So we do the best we can to control life. We spend our money in our own way. We live to our own standard. We follow the rules we know. And we try to live our lives down a path that we expect them to take. Even when we get bumped off one side of the path or the other, we correct ourselves to try and get back onto the path. If a college student does poorly on an examination, they may take it again, or add some extra credit time to get their grade back up. If a worker has his hours cut at the full time job, maybe he gets a part time job so that he can afford to keep his truck.

We like to believe in all sorts of warm fuzzy things like free will. freedom of speech. self reliance. In fact, we dont have any of them at our disposal. You are only in charge of your path until some outside factor changes it for you. You dont have any more control over the overall outcome of your life than an ant on the sidewalk.

Ants are a curiosity to me. Workers. An ant possibly has the highest work ethic of any creature out there. They are constantly trying to be hopeful about the future that they are faced with. Until you or I ride our bicycle across that path and squash them.

Thats what I mean about not having control. There is a song on the radio right now about this idea. "sounds like life to me" Talks about some of the challenges that we all face in our lives, and sort of makes light of them, The idea, i suppose is to tell you to roll with the punches. Thats a different song though.

But the hope. Thats what keeps a person moving. Have you ever seen a person who was truly hopeless? Collapsed in a ball in the corner? It is only hope that drives us. This is the true root of motivation. If we see some benefit, some light at the end of the tunnel, and we believe that our actions will get us closer to it.... that is acting in hope. And it is also at the core of motivation. Any reward you foresee is based on hope.

So try this on for size. Lets try and expect things instead of hoping for them. How would your behavior change? If you expected a promotion instead of hoped for it. Would you change the quality or quantity of work you were doing? Your interactions at your job? I bet you would.

Now I am not talking about entitlement here. I am saying that your life would be drastically different if you took the stance of having some amount of control over what happens to you. And by the way, taking some responsibility for what happens in your life as well.

It doesnt work in all cases, but here I guess Im talking about personal achievement. I did not hope that my hotrod would turn out well. I expected it to do so and then followed through to make sure of it.

See the difference? When it comes to achievement, we all have certain things that we hope for. I think that they should become things we expect. It seems to me that the odds of achieving them will be a lot higher.

Going for a ride.

I had the unique experience over the last few days of driving. A lot of driving. It began with a trip from home to Saxeville and back over the weekend. This was immediately followed on Monday by a drive to Michigan's upper peninsula.

There is something very calming for me about driving for a distance alone. I find myself able to address a large number of thoughts and conflicts, sort of making sense of them. In this case however, I found myself ending the trips with more questions than answers.

As you are likely aware, I generally find myself drawn to a very down-to-earth way of life. Much more so than the day to day life that I actually lead. These two trips did nothing to quell that. Driving through these two very remote, rural, and agrarian areas only served to make obvious to me the benefits of that ideal.

Whether or not you agree with the ideal, it seems hard to argue the basic simplicity of life that becomes inevitable when you are in a full time environment of this sort. When there is not a Target, Walmart, Sears, Bed Bath and Beyond, Elder Beermans, etc within 35 or more minutes of your home, your life's pace will absolutely slow down. We're talking about people who dont have cable television because the lines arent long enough. People who have to examine the gas guage before coming home rather than before leaving home.

This sort of life to me is the ideal. In my mind, the opposite end of the spectrum would be some of the ultra urban apartments and condos out there.

The thing is, I love to have a little space. I sometimes like to make a mess. Or some noise. You cant do that when you dont have any space. Its rude.

When was the last time your friend with that gorgeous subdivision house talked about target practice in the back yard? Or working on the car in the garage? Or having friends over for a fire? Shoot, leaving the boat out overnight. Maybe I have a problem with authority, but I have never been able to come to grips with the idea of a restrictive covenant. Mostly because the damned things were written to keep people like me away.

Driving through these areas, it becomes obvious that the folks who live there full time are a bit more laid back. They do things as they are able. Within their own level of ability. And as they see fit. They do not update the house based on increasing its resale value. They dont buy things with the idea that they will ever sell them. For that reason, they make those things reflect their own personality. If they think that it would look nice to plant flowers in a bathtub int he front yard, thats exactly what they do.

Now I'm not saying what this sounds like. The real point here hasnt changed much from many of the other ideas that ive shared. Specific examples never quite seem to show the whole picture.

I guess the underlying theme so far is thus; Be who you are. Of course you will have to maintain some amount of social conformity, but be who you are.

It truly is the differences in people that gives us the most in common.

Nurturing Growth

Environments are reflected by their inhabitants.

Any time you take the time to examine growth, you must also take into account the events and the situations surrounding whatever it is that you are focused on.

Children have an enormous capacity for learning. I see this in my own kids, and their ability to grasp and own an idea with very little explanation. The synapses are firing so quickly, and the interference is so low, that a child can process and commit to an idea much more quickly than an adult. Kids dont have the worries and stress that come with responsibility. This alone allows focus.

But a child can only learn that which is presented to him. Whatever it is that a child is subjected to becomes the norm, the way of doing things, of speaking, of behaving. Kids tend to be fantastic mirrors of the role models around them, because of the capacity, and desire, to focus on what is going on around the world that they live in.

Where this idea really becomes interesting though, is in the management of people.

Very rarely can the worker influence the growth of a supervisor. The idea of it counters most logical thought processes. More commonly, the worker is a product of the manager or supervisor. Highly productive people are generally motivated by highly productive bosses. Unfortunately, not-very productive people can also be reflections of highly productive bosses.

To illustrate this, examine the way in which you train a dog. If you want a dog to complete task x, you have to encourage that animal more and more specifically towards that task until he begins to understand. We have all been privy at one time or another to training a dog to recognize the boundaries of his yard. How is it done? Correct if you said that you walk him around the edges on a short leash, then a longer one, then a rope, then no rope, before finally letting him loose completely and calling him in if he gets too close to the edges. It never works if you just stand on the porch and scream at the dog every time he moves.

Teachers do this by the way. It is the tell me, show me, watch me theory. Whenever I am training somebody on a new process, it is this theory that I follow. I start by explaining the task at hand, then by working through the process a few times with the trainee, and finally by observing that person doing the job and offering constructive help.

This goes back to the kindergarten theory of management which I spoke of in another thread. When you start to deal with your people in the same manner that you might deal with a kindergartner, you begin to understand a relationship in which you are nurturing growth. This is not to say that you talk very slowly and specifically. This is more broad-based. A kindergartner will flourish if he is given opportunity to impress the teacher. If he is given a chance for success on his own. If he is able to attain something through his own success.

If you have a child, you know this. "clean up your bedroom and you can have a cookie" or "eat your brussel sprouts and you can have dessert"

It is the same with workers. I have yet to see a worker who was motivated by the fear of termination. Or who did a better job after being bawled out in public. I have never seen a person come to work committed to success the day after being told he was doing a poor job. Especially if that person didnt believe the assessment was accurate.

The ideal employee is as follows. Committed and excited about their job. Interested in what it is that they do for a living. Proud of the company that they work for. Feels valued in what they do. Believes that they can be successful in what they do, and that the success will generate more of the previous feelings. Is certain that the things that are expected of them are attainable. Notice that I did not say that the worker believes that they will be better paid.

We have all seen situations in which a person did not work out in one organization and yet was wildly successful in another. The person changed jobs, and was suddenly driven, motivated, interested, and successful. Unfortunately, we have all seen the opposite happen as well.

I believe that most of the time the change has to do with the supervisor more than the employee. My own experience has been as follows. If a person knows what is expected of them, believes that it is something that they can accomplish, and sees a benefit to doing so; they will be successful at it. Leave out any of the three, and they will fail. ten times out of ten.

If the person does not know what they are supposed to do, it isnt going to get done.

If they dont think they can do the job, or believe that too much is being asked, they arent going to do it.

And most of all, if that person does not think that getting it done will have a result, they wont get it done. Any time that a person gets to thinking that it doesnt matter what they do, because the result will not change, they will not take the extra steps that separate them from success.

So a person is the result of their own environment. An environment that encourages creativity will breed creative people. One that encourages stringent attention to structure and routine will create those folks. When you put a person in an environment, they become part of it.

When I talk to managers, one of the most common things that I hear is that their people are either afraid to make decisions, or that they make the wrong ones. It never fails to raise the question in my mind of consistency in that organization. I wander when i hear these things whether or not the worker has been walked around the yard, whether the leash has been lengthened gradually, and finally let go, and whether or not the worker has been called back from the boundary from time to time. More often I find that these organizations have very little structure or set ways of doing things. I find usually a situation in which people are turned loose on the job, and are only hemmed in when things get out of control.

In any case, one of the biggest things that any manager can do is make sure that the workers know and understand what it is that they are to do, that they are empowered to operate within that set of rules, and that they are comfortable with them.

Learning Every Day,
Greg

The Details...

Whenever you honestly examine some aspect of your life, it becomes apparent that how well you handle the details will determine the level of satisfaction you find.

For instance. I have talked before about the pickup truck. If I had not spent the time picking out that perfect camshaft for it, I can tell you that the experience of hearing it run would not have been the same. Come to think of it, modified cars are a great example of details. Think of all of the things that separate one hot-rodded car from the other. The wheels, the paint, the engine, the finish of the interior. The list goes on and on and on. But that said, I can tell you from experience that the difference of as little as a quarter of an inch on the width of a wheel can make the difference in whether or not the wheel looks or fits right on the car.

But we aren't talking solely about cars here. Imagine going to the store. The things that you have on your list to buy are very specific. You don't need milk, you need 2%. or soy. or chocolate. You aren't looking for Doritos, you want cool ranch, or late night taco.

The point is that the big things never go overlooked. Its the details that separate us from greatness many times. Its the little extra touches. Some people call it going the extra mile. More often its just taking the extra small step.

When we get dressed in the morning, we all wear pretty much the same things. We all have socks or something similar on our feet. We all have something covering our legs and torso. We wear shoes. And if we all stood in line together, it is the details of those items that shed light on our differences.

Think of men's shirts for a bit. Often, I wear sort of a denim-ish shirt to work. But if I really want to look nice for the day; I might wear something more dressy. The details of those shirts is what makes the difference in how I appear to my customers and coworkers. I generally will wear the same type of pants and shoes with either. But the shirts. They both have buttons. It is likely that they even have the same kind and number of buttons. They have similar collars. They have the exact same embroidery on them. But what a difference there is between a denim shirt and a crisp white dress shirt. Moreover, what a difference in the way the dress shirt looks with white buttons compared to brown ones.

Simple things can make the difference. How much different does a room look with a 40 watt bulb in the lights versus a 60 watt? Doesn't seem like much. Try it. Try it in your bedroom. If you have a workshop, try it there. It makes all of the difference in the world. The bedroom will be much friendlier, more inviting, not as harsh. The workshop will not be as usable, and your projects wont seem to work as well.

Ever been to a hotel that didn't put a mint on your pillow after cleaning up? Or bought a car and found old junk in the ashtray even when the rest of the car looked great? Most times, it is the things that would have taken one extra minute or one extra dollar that can really turn a person off.

Now for the reality of it. The details done correctly will never ever ever be a positive force for you. They tend to just make up the rest of the image. Not one time in your life have you looked at the ashtray in your car and said, " hey, there's no junk in it" You may have noticed that it was clean. But not in the way that you would notice it was dirty. You have never looked at my shirt and thought about the buttons. You have only noticed if one was missing or noticed that it looked very crisp.

But you will never get credit for following through on the details. You will only get whatever the opposite of credit is if you don't or aren't able to follow through and somebody notices it.

Interestingly, the level of pay that an employee receives works in exactly the same way. The amount of money you pay somebody will almost never equate to the level of satisfaction they get out of the job. Nobody goes to work and likes the job because they make a lot of money doing it. Lots of people go to work and hate the job because they don't think they make enough to do it. Details, like pay rates, can usually only be a negative. When they are a positive, they never seem to have the same impact. Every once in a while, people will notice perfection, but that is only in situations that they are looking specifically for it.

Point in fact. You can think of a time at a restaurant when you've gotten something off your bill at a restaurant because of a detail that was missed. I would wager that you have to think very hard to come up with a time that you have offered to pay more for the meal because everything was done right. You may have left a bigger tip for your server, but you didn't pay an extra buck for your steak.

Its because details are the things that are SUPPOSED to be done. If you are the housekeeper at a restaurant, you are supposed to leave the mints. If you clean cars, you are supposed to check and clean the ashtray. Whatever it is that you are involved with, there are things that people expect. They expect that your time and attention should be devoted to the details of the job. A housekeeper would never forget to vacuum the carpet. They might forget the mints. But that's the point.

In short, the difference between being good; and being great; is in the details.

Balance.

Do you remember the teeter totter in the playground at your childhood school?
You'd get on, one of your friends on the other end. up and down, first you would push, then your friend... If you weighed about the same amount, you could go up and down with that person for a long time.

But did you ever get on the thing with somebody who was bigger than you? Remember that sickening feeling when you realized that you had no control over the situation? That bigger kid could keep you up high for a long time, or slam you to the ground. There was nothing that you could do about it.

This is an illustration of balance. So long as that teeter totter was in balance, life was good, even, simple and fun.

Another example would be to imagine 3 potted plants. Lets say that you give one plant 5 cups of water each day. The second plant you give 1 cup of water. The third plant you never water. What would happen? Well, none of the plants would do very well. The first one is getting too much water, and his roots are rotting. The second is getting by, but barely. The third is slowly dying of starvation.

Think for a minute about the balance in your own life now. Do you balance your obligations with those things that you enjoy? The things that you have to do with those that you want to do?

This weekend, babe found herself hopelessly off balance. After spending the entire work week surrounded by five year old children, she discovered that she had come home from work, only to find more five year old children. Although I am not sure what the balancing factor to a kindergartner is, i suspect it is not another kindergartner. By the time that I arrived home on Saturday afternoon, it was somewhat easy to tell that she had no need for a kid-fix. She had experienced enough five year old for one week.

And this happens everywhere a person looks. "too much work makes jack a dull boy" "all things in moderation" how many cliche's can you name that are nothing more than an expression of balance?

Unfortunately, our own ability to balance our lives is often beyond our control. Many times, the things that we have to do override those that we want to do, or worse they override other things that we also have to do. It is awfully hard to do the dishes when you are at work; or take the dog to the vet when we need to be in another place.

But we try. I think that for most of us, the factor in our life that gets left out in the cold too often is simple relaxation. We are so busy trying to keep the rest of our lives in check that we dont stop and take a break. We dont take the kids to the beach. We dont go play with our toys. When was the last time that you took an afternoon nap on a Saturday? You cant because you are too busy trying to get your kids to take their nap right?

The worst thing to try and balance by far are the relationships in your life. every relationship that you have takes a differentiated amount of time. You need to spend x amount with your job. Y amount with your spouse, your kids, each friend that you have takes a unique amount. The hardest part is that you need some time for yourself as well. It never seems to fail that there are more things that you are supposed to do than you are actually getting done. you have more expected than you can deliver.

have you ever noticed what happens when you get your diet out of balance? Too much of this, not enough of that? people get sick. They get tired. They get hyperactive. Worst of all, they get gas. Just a matter of balance.

SO. What does a person do? I think that the best thing is to put some thought to what it is in your own life that is out of balance. Find a way to even things out. Do it on purpose.

Odds are, the things that you are spending too much of your attention on wont even notice the change. The things that are being left to the side will flourish by comparison. Think about those plants again. What if we took the five cups of water from the first plant, and the one from the second, and instead gave each of the three plants two cups of water. Suddenly, without changing the amount of water, or effort we are putting forth, all three plants will begin to grow again, and all three will flourish.

playing telephone....

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the church. You regular readers already know this.

It has come to my attention that there is a movement that is calling itself the Emergent Church... If you arent familiar with this, do a little study. provocative stuff.

Part of this movement is the updating of the language in the bible that we have been reading. I am not certain what my thoughts are on this. To me, the idea of changing the words in the bible seems a bit out there. Who do we think we are? Are we so high and mighty that we feel that we can just mess with the words of God?

This is not the first time that this has happened. Actually, we mere humans have been "updating" the language for millenia. Dont forget, the thing wasnt even written in English in the first place. And unless you have done extensive study in greek, you arent likely to be able to read the initial version...

I trust that the scholars who are doing this rewrite are far smarter, or more well schooled in linguistics that myself. I also trust that thier hearts are in the right place. And I trust that the church is supporting the move. What i dont trust follows.

When we were in Kindergarten, we all played a game called telephone. We would sit in a big circle remember? One person would whisper a silly message to the person next to them, that person would pass it to the next, and so on all of the way around the circle. By the time it got back to the person who started, it was a totally different message. Maybe the original message was "Bobby has a big bucket of fish." And likely the final message would have been "Betty thinks her ham sandwich got switched" There wasnt usually even a semblance of the original idea.

I think you may understand at this point what my concern is with changing the language of the word of God. I would love to know how many times we have screwed up our own message.

Now. Whether or not you believe that this newest iteration is a good or a bad thing; remember that you havent been reading the original anyway. You dont actually believe in the original word of God. You have been raised through the updated word for hundreds and hundreds of years.

And. Even if you have a strong opinion about whether or not it should be changed; you also have to realize that it has the potential to change for the better.

Here's why.

We are in the process of moving to a post-literate state in this world. What language we speak, how we write, how we read, all of these will cease to matter within the next 100 years, primarily due to our adoption of technology. What this means is that for most of us, the idea of even caring what words are in the bible will become obsolete within the lifetimes of our own children. Our own language, both written and verbal, is changing today at a pace that was considered to be inconceivably fast even ten years ago. Consider how much of what you send in a text message is not even a word. Think for a second about some of the slang words that have become common in our speech within the recent past. Our spoken word, and our methods of communication, are changing at a blindingly fast pace.

Where does this leave us? When we begin to work in a written language of icons, abbreviations, and electronic media; how will we even access the word of our lord?

I will say that I cant answer the question. I also dont know whether or not our changing of the words in the bible matters.

What i can say is this. The word of God represents a way of being. An Ideal. A Goal. In the same way that my corrections of my own childrens behavior does not address every single behavior in their lives; my corrections act as a guidebook for them to understand what the proper way of being looks like.

I guess, to me, if installing some new language in the book is done in a manner that makes it a more contemporary defintion fo what our way of being should be, I think that it is ok with me.

I pray that we arent playing telephone. The biggest problem for our own future will come if we think that we should change Betty's ham sandwich instead of helping bobby catch fish.

Attention Deficit Disor.... Wanna play hopscotch?

SO. I have what I prefer to call an "active child."

Turtle is starting kindergarten next week. Somehow, during the course of realizing and preparing him for that, Babe and I have noticed some unusual behavior patterns. in short, The frickin kid cant sit still. No matter what is going on, he has to be moving something on his body or fidgeting with something all of the time. Once we realized that there was some sort of force at work here, my wife began to research.

Ive said before that the Babe is a kid-genius. I have been continually impressed with her ability to get to the source of just this sort of thing with children throughout her career to date.

But you all know that I think im pretty smart too. When she explained to me her suspicion that the oddball behavior was possibly a food allergy involving dairy, I just about dropped my beer. But she insisted. SO... We have tried an experiment here at casa Wilker.

We took turtle off of most dairy. The return to the old kid we knew came about almost visibly. Within a few days, he had regained his attention span, his cool, calm nature when problem solving, and coolest of all, his ability to remember what tool Dad needed from the garage when working on a project.

Next step, go see the Doctor and see if we're right. This is sort of like taking a home pregnancy test, and then going in hoping that its just a coincidence. Doc thinks that we're on the right track.

This means that our family has to learn about food. I have never even heard of glutin before, much less thought about what foods might have it inside. And last time I checked, a soy was a plant. They dont have teets. How the hell do you get soy milk? Try to milk a Soy. I dare you. ITS SOY JUICE! ( this bit courtesy of Louis Black) Turtle says that it tastes like marshmallows. He likes it.

Turns out that this particular food allergy has the capacity to resemble ADHD.

I would have believed ADHD just as easily... During the course of our research on this little rugrat that we love, I found out what ADHD really is. Turns out that I might have it.

Reasons that I say this.

1. I am really good at getting projects accomplished that I can do in less than 1 day. Anything longer than that might take another year to finally get completely finished. (see also; half the woodwork in my home)

2. Although I can spend hours on the computer, I am likely to visit a different site every few minutes unless I find something truly interesting.

3. I have to carry a little flip style notebook at work so that I dont forget to do some of the small tasks that I might think of during the course of my day.

4. I love Hulu because I can watch a 30 minute television program in 20 minutes, and every so often, they show me a commercial just to keep me interested.

5. Anything that I build, from the deck to the playset, remodelling the house, my hotrod, constantly seem to be in the process of being rebuilt, based on some new iteration that I have dreamt up.


SO I think that I have ADHD. Fortunately, I also think that this will make me much more able to deal with turtle should he fall off the soy-juice wagon. Knowing this about me will hopefully help me to become a better role model for him.

Now where was that varnish? i just remembered that the table that I built for Babe's classroom still isnt sealed...

The Community Chest

Remember the last time you played monopoly? There was a card in there call community chest, and maybe you won 10 or 15 dollars for landing on it.

I always thought that it was some sort of a myth.

But here in our little town, I have been the Board President of the Village of Valders Community Chest for I guess about 5 years.

Each year, through some fairly intensive fund-raising over a one month period, usually the month of October, our board enlists the help of some of our community members, and we proceed to raise a significant amount of money..

The purpose of this is the support of our community.

Our monies are then donated to quite a few of our local charitable and non-profit organizations, enabling them to continue to do their jobs. In some cases, we are the only support that these programs have for the entire year.

Imagine us as the United Way for our little area. As a matter of fact, they are one of the organizations that we contribute to.

This entity has been in existence for I think, something like 50 years. We do have a reasonably slow rotation of board members and volunteer, with the average tenure spanning something like 10 years.

And here is my point. Like any other event, group, volunteer organization, fraternal group, fill in the blank, it is the same group of faces that are seen here.

Why is it that in any organization, even our town, there seems always to be a core group of people who are involved in absolutely everything? I bet in your church, school, ymca, theatrical organization, etc, you can find five to ten people who seem to always be involved in whatever it is that is going on.

I expect the easy answer to be that this sort of person just has the right personality. BS. I am quickly turning into one of those people in this village, and believe me, I have never been one of those people.

What changed for me? Somebody asked.

So here is the deal. I think that a great many of you reading this are one of the people that I am talking about tonight, involved, always involved. I challenge you to become one of the people who asked. I dare you to pick one or two, (or ten, you know who you are) of the things that you spend your time being involved in, and see how many people you can recruit to participate. Remember, many hands makes light work.

Recruit, Recruit, Recruit!

Learning Every Day,
Greg

that Favre guy..

Unless you live under a rock, you have heard by now that Brett Favre is about to play football for the Minnesota Vikings.

There is all manner of banter out there about this situation. There are some of us who feel that the guy should just retire. Others think he should be playing for green bay. Still others cheer him for his enthusiasm.

I'm on the fence. Here is what I know of the man.

I remember the first game that he played for the Packers. They kept calling him Brett Favvvray. But they talked about him a lot during the game. I dont recall the score, or even whether they won. I do remember that there was a lot of buzz about this young quarterback.

I remember a ton of risky, and not risky passes that led to interceptions. I remember a lot of those same kind of passes that led to touchdowns.

I remember a player who had so much excitement in him to be playing the game that he never missed a start. I remember a ton of records that were set by number four.

Mostly, I remember a time in my life during which I actually cared enough about the game of football that I didnt miss watching a game. Those of you who know me well also know that it is saying something when you think of me being a religious sports fan.

There is not another venue for football that Brett could have chosen and would have been as successful.

Im talking about the images that football teams carry with them, and the attitudes of the fans here. There are teams out there who are regarded as glamourous. Consistently challenging. Ugly but scary. Daring. The list goes on and on. Picture any NFL team and it seems as though it is easy to come up with some adjective that defines the image and skill of them. The Cowboys have a very glamourous town, They players date movie stars. The team owner, well hell, you get the point. The steelers are one of the most consistently playing teams out there, but it seems as though they wont hire anybody that isnt scary looking.

And then there are the Green Bay Packers. This team is owned by the city. And its not a very big city. The residents of our area are hometown, normal folks. We drive chevrolets and fords. We even wear cheese on our heads and our blaze orange parka's to the game. No place else could have loved a hometown guy like favre the way that packer fans did.

His tenure here was a great era in green bay football. Around here, the term "glory years" comes up in conversation often, and it is because it was a really long time between those times when Green Bay had a really good football team. I consider his stay here to be part of the glory years.

Brett had the ability to make superstars out of every position on the field. His enthusiasm and love for the game was contagious. And it was visible whenever he played.

Shoot, Green Bay invented the Lambeau Leap, and that alone speaks volumes about the relationship between our fans and our players.

So he's going to play football this year. For one of our biggest rivals. Anybody that is upset about this needs to remember that we certainly didnt make him feel as though he could come back and play for us.

This is one of those times when we have to be able to separate our interests. ARe we Packer fans or football fans. If we are Packer fans, we should be cheering Brett on with all our might. We all know that we have never had as much fun as we had watching him play for the Pack, so why not be happy that he is still playing? As foot ball fans, crap, its the same thing.

I say Go Pack Go. And if we happen to beat Favre and the Vikings, which we will, more power to it. At the same time, I wish Brett Luck, and can tell you that I will be cheering the guy on every chance I get. Unless the Packers are on.

The Valders Car Show

Two years ago,
Oh Crap. Let me preface this.

Our Village holds a picnic every summer. If you imagine any midwestern town, you can most likely imagine what our picnic is. We have a softball tournament, a horseshoes tournament, a few bands on friday and saturday night, and some concession stands where we sell beer, soda, and food. There is a big parade on Sunday noon, and then the whole village (and then some) comes down to the park to take in all the other stuff.

It is all sponsored by our villages Lions Club.

But what we have not had in the eight or so years that I have lived here is a car show. Not that having one is really very important to anything, but it bears noting that our attendance at the picnic on sunday has been steadily declining over the last few years.

My own involvement in our community has been very very slow to progress. Some people, like my wife, join a new community or organization and are instantly involved, coordinating things, giving thier time, you have met these people, and you know the type.

You also know my type. We join the same community, the same organization, and find ourselves idle. Any involvement we have is by being dragged, sometimes kicking and screaming, into the midst, at which point we find ourselves having a tremendous amount of fun, and increasingly willing to work.

So lets try that again,

Two years ago my total involvement in our community picnic was the fact that I had gotten into the habit of spending friday and saturday night pouring beer in one of the concession stands for the late shift each year. The Lions call it tending bar, but since our menu consists of three kinds of canned beer and one kind of tap beer, (no matter what kind of tap beer you order, I nod my head and pour you a bud light) I refer to it as pouring beer.

The professor, coincidentally, always seems to have his own picnic, revolving around our car buddies, the same saturday. So, two years ago, I brought my freshly primered and (sort of) drivable pickup truck from his party directly to my shift at pouring beer.

After explaining to one our villages more involved people where I had been, She posed to me the question, "Why dont we have a car show next year at the picnic?" I thought, In the words of Herrick Kimball, (see blogs that I follow) that it was a whizbang idea.

Last year, the lions didnt really grab the idea. By the time they started planning, I already had plans to be out of town for the day of the show. Still, they managed to arrange about 40 cars for the "display" It worked out well.

This year, I again was tapped to be on the committee. Turns out, we started planning in January because the lions were impressed with last year and wanted a "real" car show this year.

Finally I reach tonights thought.

Any Event Involving a Lot of People is Going to be a Lot of Fricking Work.

We seven spent the better part of eight months planning, and executing all of the things involved in putting on a car show. WE solicited sponsors, help, space, financed trophies, the list goes on and on and on.

i have said before that I love this little town of which I am slowly becoming a part. We turned out over a hundred show cars. But that isnt the point. So Many People Helped Us Make This Successful.

Our sponsors never batted an eye about dishing out a hundred dollars per class. Or about donating door prizes, or raffle prizes. One of our local volunteer organizations sent us six people for seven hours to help help in any way that they could. Foose and Puller ran Puller's gator around and sold beer and soda all afternoon for free. Everyone helped. And everyone had a good time.

The crazy thing about living in a little pond is that you actually can make a difference. WE raised a very large amount of money, (in small town terms) for the betterment of our village. We contributed to the members of our village having a really fun sunday afternoon. And we arent anybody special. It was fun.

What I wonder though, is how much better the world would be if everyone found some way to contribute to the village, city, or neighborhood around them. The state highway that runs through our town is involved just east of town in one of those "adopt a highway" programs. Last weekend, I saw the president of our villages biggest employer picking up trash by himself in that ditch because his company (i think) adopted that highway. Damn. Where were the employees of that company. Where were the residents of this village for that matter.

Go do something to make your world better. For everybody around you.

what other people need.

when the light is getting dim
and hope is not so near
the days when things are not so great
you feel like no one hears.

when the world just wont slow down
and let you find your pace
those times are when you think your life
is filled with empty space.

and all the days of time gone by
and all the things you've done
every test you've tried, and failed
every single one.

the days when it all goes to hell
and those when no one cares
no matter of the work you've done
or of the love you've shared

it doesn't matter who you've helped
in selfless thought or deed
and nobody will see you there
in your own time of need.

and these days are a test of strength
of guts and power and grace
if you can just gather up
and get back on your pace.

remember always, in your head
what no one ever says
the good things that you do without
a thought of being praised.

and if you are so fortunate
to find yourself raised up
remember those around you
who deserve to get some props.

you cannot see in others
those whose lights are getting dim.
so remember when you greet a friend
to try and lift up him.

it never fails, it never does
just when youre at your worst
that somebody more thoughtful
will find time to put you first.

Opinions and beliefs.

Ok. Ive been thinking about this one for a long time.

Homosexuality, Same sex marriage, The church, are you ready? Here we go.

First off, let me tell you that I have friends and relatives that deal with this subject every day because they fall into the category. Further, it is a subject that I feel very very strongly about. And finally, that as usual, it isnt about me. What I believe about this has nothing to do with what I am going to say tonight. I would also ask you to set your own beliefs aside during the course of this essay; so that you may get my point before deciding whether you agree with me. You can make that decision after you have heard me out.

It is my understanding that the state I live in recently passed a bill allowing "domestic partnerships" between people of the same gender. I see it as a clever twist of words in order to allow same-sex marriage. Whether you believe in homosexuality or not is not the question here. yet.

If you are a married person, you have certain legal rights to your spouse. One of the most striking; and the thing that I am most sympathetic to; is that married people have the right to see thier spouse at the hospital should something terrible happen. Unmarried people are not considered family; and therefore do not share this right. I can tell you that if someone told me I wasnt allowed in the room with my wife in such a situation, it would not turn out well. Homosexual couples did not share this legal right untill recently. These are the sorts of legal rights that I am talking about.

It is also my understanding that the church to which I belong is considering all manner of things regarding the acceptance of homosexuals. Some churches are considering allowing people of this nature to serve in some pretty important leadership positions.

I think you might have some idea why I felt the need to express myself tonight. This really is a hot-button topic for me.

We all know that our religious beliefs are among our strongest. Whether we are Christian, Athiest, Scientologist, Jewish, Muslim, etc. It is fact that most of us hold our faith as near and dear to our heart, and very important to our lives. Interestingly,every faith seems to have a strong stance on this topic.

I grew up with the understanding and belief that homosexuality was wrong. In the same way as lying, stealing, and all of the other things that you arent supposed to do, I have been taught that it is wrong to be gay. It is what I believe.

That said, I also was raised to believe that it is not my job to judge anybody. In old times, people were subjected to all manner of horrible things by thier peers for behaviors that were judged to be wrong. Read the Scarlet Letter sometime if you dont agree. Hell, read the Bible.

That brings about my next thought. What does the Bible tell us about our Gay friends? After reading all sorts of texts and interpretations over the course of the last week or so, turns out that the bible ends up being open to interpretation on the matter. This happens a lot when you look to scripture for a specific ruling on a specific sin. Depending how you read it, and what you believe about the authors and thier intent, and how much you know about translation from the original hebrew to our language; You can read the bible to say whatever you want about homosexuality and how to handle it with regard to your church. If you are gay, and want to prove that God doesnt mind, you can find an interpretation to do so. If you are very conservative, and want to prove that being gay ranks up there with murder; that can also be done.

The text that I did find, and no, I'm not going to give you the address to find it, (if you want to know, get out your bible like you ought to anyway) talks about the fact that "they" had hardened their hearts to thier sin, and were not repentant of it. I really think that this applies to all of our sins, even though it speaks about todays topic. I have been taught that the only way to the Father is through his Son, and that the only way to him is to believe in him, confess your sins, and repent of them. If your heart is hardened to your sins, you cannot repent of them. It means that you wont admit that what you have done is wrong, or be sorry for it.

How many times are we told that being homosexual is biological. predisposed. There are those that try to convince us that they arent doing anything wrong. Like I said about the Bible, they can even use it and interpretation of it to prove thier point. Anything but a fault in the person or in the way that they were raised. Anything to not admit a sin. This is the essence of a hardened heart. Try to tell a homosexual that they should repent thier sin and go straight or be celibate. I suggest a ski mask. You can find it in all of us, in all manner of sins, not just homosexuality. Again, I refer to it as a sin, but it is just my own opinion. You form your own.

Form your own opinion.... The next step in the thought process relates to exactly that. When I talk about domestic partnerships, and the legal rights gained by those involves, It reminds me that this is not just a question of theology. It is a question of legality and public opinion. We have the supreme privilege of living in a free democratic society. What I believe does not necessarily equate to what becomes a legal right. What a homosexual believes also does not equate. What becomes law in this country is that which appears to be believed by most of the people. Most of the people, that is, who participate in the society.

Whether you do or do not believe that it is ok to be gay. Whether you do or do not believe that domestic partnerships are ok, the law will be determined by those who voice thier opinion.. I have been told that this is a naive notion of how it is that our country works. Kiss my ass. When I get to the point that I dont believe that democracy works, Im moving to Canada.

SO, the fact is that domestic partnerships are ok in Wisconsin because most participating wisconsinites are ok with it. I havent heard any huge public outcry to the contrary..... This part of the question is not a question of theology. WE do not live in a christian-governed environment, quite the opposite actually.

What is the one thing that creates law? Public outcry. Laws are made in much the same way as my son's bed. It doesnt happen unless somebody pesters to be point that it seems better to make it happen that not.

Now, my conservative friends; I have not forgotten you. Let me guess, Sodom and Gemorrah right? Yes, the old testament can be read to cast a very dim future for homosexuals. It can also be read to cast the same thing for women who dont cover thier heads in church. Or a SLAVE who doesnt SUBMIT ( ie sexually) to thier master. I can go on and on with examples that you will tell me are no longer applicable to our society, yet you will defend your old testament beliefs about homosexuality.

What about participation in the church? Should we allow them to worship with us? I think that we all say yes we should. What about teach sunday school? hmmm. Become Pastors? ( and thats when the fight started....)

Lets go to that extreme. And get to the point about judging each others sins. If we decide that a homosexual cannot pastor a church, what about somebody who is a lyar? or a thief? or somebody who covets thier neighbors goat? How wild is it that it is a commandment to not covet thy nieghbors possessions (goat), but it is not a commandment that relationships only happen between man and woman? Notice it also is not a commandment that relationships only happen between married people.

When I was in middle school, there was a very nice couple who wanted to be married in our church. Both were very well respected and active in the church. Our lead pastor would not do the ceremony for them because the groom had been divorced. Our associate pastor had a different view and married them. I am definetely not saying that we should conduct marriages of homosexuals as if they were approved by the lord. What i am saying is that there are all different ideals, and ways of expressing them out there. Which method does the most good for God?

Brass Tacks.
There are all different sorts of sinners out there. Fact is that there are as many different sorts as there are individual people. All of us qualify. No matter how small or large the sins, we all do it.

That in mind, our job in this world is be sheperds for the lord. We dont get to decide who goes up and who goes down. We are not the judges. Our job is to expose as many people as possible to as much of Jesus as we can. And, as I recall, He Loved the least of Us most. We do not need to spend our time trying to save the ones who have already been saved. We are to be searching out the lost. Spreading the good word if you will.

So what do you do? First of all, if you have a belief on the subject, voice it. It is the only way that you can affect the country in which you live. Vote. Write your congressman. Participate in a rally. Tell your pastor how you feel. Get your voice heard in your church.

Secondly, love thy neighbor. Soften that hardened heart. Let god work through you. Remember that your job is to tell the story, not to pass judgement.

Finally, the elephant in the room. Can a homosexual be a Pastor? I can tell you that I would not attend that church. But, remember, it isnt about me.

Questions to answer to decide.

Does the bible tell us that homosexuality precludes saving souls? What it does talk about is quite a few men who "loved each other dearly" You decide.

Is it possible that a person who is gay will have an understanding of faith such that they can lead a church?

Is a homosexual able to be a positive role model and caregiver for the congregation?

All of these are tough questions. But I will leave you with just one more that I think sums up the point very well.

Does God have the ability to love, forgive, and use that person to his purpose; and is it up to you and I to judge whether or not he is allowed to do so?

Food for thought.
Greg

churches.

What is the Church.
What is it that a person gets from church?
I ask this as I am spending a Saturday afternoon at Family Camp. Our family spends one weekend each year at the camp that our church sponsors. It is a time, at least for me, of focus. When you remove the outside world from your family; access to television, radio, the internet, even cellphone coverage, it creates a situation that is not common enough in our day to day world.
There is an odd dynamic at work here. It is almost as though being in this environment brings out the best in us as parents. Our patience level is heightened. Our vices are sworn away. And our children and spouses become a primary topic.
To me, Church, and its environments, are social institutions. We hold these institutions in such high regard, and with such high respect, that allowing ourselves an extended stay in them changes our normal day to day behaviors. Because those around us are also in the same frame of mind, we find ourselves in a culture which promotes behaving in the ways that we really should be doing anyway.
In our normal lives, it is admissible to not be focused on these things. There are plenty of excuses. We have to make a living, maintain the yard and house, and so on… As I have said before, “the things you own…” So we do not act in the manner all of the time that the environment of church encourages.
So what is the church? How does it have this effect? I’m not asking whether you believe in God. I’m not getting into the idea of faith at all. I’m asking what the dynamic is in a church that creates this sort of a culture. I don’t feel as though I am under any kind of social pressure to behave in some way when I’m here. I also don’t feel as though there is anyone judging my behavior. But yet my behavior changes.
It almost seems as if the removal of the outside world and the forces of it brings a person back to self. In the case of most people that I know, this is a good thing. We find ourselves behaving to a higher standard than we do when surrounded by the normal stresses of life.
I believe that this is the essence of Church. Given the fact that the ideals of the Church center around basic good, and not so good, human behavior, it is only natural that we would find ourselves apiring to that standard. When you are in some of the other environments of life, you work to their standards. Salespeople behave a certain way. Guys act a certain way at the bar. Any social institution that you will find in your life has its own set of social rules.
The fact that the church has survived for so long is to me an example of the strength of those feelings that adhering to its social rules creates. Any social entity that maintains its own existence for a long time seems to be similar in that it creates strong feelings amongst its participants. That is what determines the power of a social institution.
The church is a powerful force. Bear in mind that most of the worlds wars have been fought over differences in the beliefs of the church. A person needs to be severely affected by a belief system in order to go out with their friends and neighbors and fight, willing to accept death, to protect that belief system. I cant think of a stronger social institution than that.
And why does it have such strength? I think it has a level of intoxication about it.
Yes. Intoxication. Like alchohol. Or nicotine. Or sex. Or cocaine. Or marijuana. Intoxication.
Think about this. I am sitting on the roof of a boathouse. Shooting the breeze with my best friend as we stare out at a beautiful view of the lake. I have spent the last 24 hours almost entirely with those people who are most important to me. We have spent a great deal of time with our focus on God. WE are relaxed, well fed, thankful, and spiritually satisfied. I feel great.
Just as if I were intoxicated.
What does this have to do with the power of the church? Back to the wars concept. Think prohibition. Think about the “war on drugs” There are endless examples of our willingness to fight for that which intoxicates us. And it certainly is evident that the church can have the effect.
Why don’t we get this feeling through our normal Sunday morning sessions more often? I know that in my own case it seems that the filling of my soul tends to take a back seat to the fulfilling of our service’s routines and chants. When the members of your congregation can recite the prayers and what-not without having to think about what happens next; how intoxicating can your service really be?
I have never opened a beer because I wanted the same effect as a glass of water.
This explains to me the reasons that most Americans do not understand the idea of a holy war. We do not as a people find our spirituality, or our religion, to be very intoxicating. In other words, we don’t get enough joy or hope from either one to understand the people of the world who do get that level of joy and hope. It just isn’t very powerful for us.
I hear a lot lately about the “new churches” or the “mega churches” in the circles that I socialize. Most of the comments are not very complimentary. I hear about attendees who are “ not REAL Christians “
Most of the banter seems to come from the same folks who attend churches like mine. “go in peace and serve the lord” “thanks be to god” And I don’t think that they really understand what the missing dynamic in the growing churches is. I hear them talking about the institutions with words like permissive, and casual, and oddly enough the word open.
I don’t think that I can find any reference anywhere in the bible that indicates that Jesus decided someone wasn’t worth his time for any of those reasons.
Further. Perhaps, and just maybe, Could it be that these churches are growing because people actually get something out of going to their services? Do you think? Maybe these are growing because people feel an intoxication to the level that they are willing to (heaven forbid) put something into the offering plate?
Needless to say, Im really tired of people slamming each others church, but oddly enough; that’s how wars start.
Isnt it interesting to be institutionalized?

Getting back on that bike....

Those of us who are parents have all run into a few things in pretty much the same way.

One of those things has to do with teaching our children courage. Unfortunately, usually we are teaching a lesson that we are not sure we even know. I know that I am not usually willing to do something that i think could hurt me. How in the world am I supposed to teach my child to get past that feeling? It is to me the definition of courage.

Tonight I was privileged to participate in just such a lesson.

My neighbors have a daughter, whom we will call the little cutie. She is very upset that both of my boys ride a two wheeler, and does want to learn to do so. Her parents have been working very hard to teach her for the last few days, but with only limited success.

So tonight was another lesson.

Oddly, we represented all of the varieties of the task. We had a person who was willing to try, but also willing to give up. We had one who was trying as hard as could be done, but had a hard time controlling frustration. And we had one who had the unconditional love, but unfortunately, very poor aim. ( pine tree)

In short, Cutie will learn to ride a two wheeler very soon.

The more important element at work today is courage. Courage is to me that element of personality that provokes us to go on despite some obstruction, some force, that seems to be driving against us. It is that which does not allow us to give up in the face of the insurmountable.
It is that that helps us to try even though we face embarrassment, pain, sometimes even death. Courage is what keeps pow's alive. Courage is what makes a woman sit in the front of the bus. Courage, really, is that which creates any important change in our world.

That's right, i just compared training wheels to changing the world. And i meant it.

Think for a second what it must be like to realize that the very structure that kept you from scrapes and bruises on the certain death of the sidewalk were just removed by your father. It takes a shitload of courage to even try to ride the bike. To a little one, it is the emotional equivalent of taking on a Nazi squadron with a bow and arrow.

Which brings me to the central point of tonights thought.

Cutie kept on trying through the tears. She knew that she did not want any part of her to touch the ground during the course of trying to ride, she also could envision riding on the big girl bike. Bravo. She showed real courage. Even though her words did not indicate the sentiment, she kept getting back on.

In any show of courage, the person will make some sort of a plan, and then follow through in the face of uncertain odds.

This is exactly what our country needs to do right now. We suffer under the reign of the media. Good news does not sell. SO most of us are led to believe that we face a very uncertain future, cast in the light of alligators at our doors, and terrorists just over the horizon. So we cower in fear lately. We do not spend money. We work at our jobs just hard enough to keep them. I believe that most employed americans are working less hard at their jobs right now than they did when we were being told things were good. I believe this is so because I think that people are just waiting to be laid off, fired, etc.

This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we believe that our economy is in the tubes, it will be. If we believe that there is no reason to show interest because we are going to lose our jobs any second, we will lose our jobs. Not because the economy is bad, but rather because we havent been doing them. If we believe that we are losing jobs in this country because the almighty "they" can do it faster, better and cheaper that we can, they will do it, and we will lose them.

It is time to behave like the little cutie. Work hard if you have a job. Work hard to get a job if you dont have one. Show some courage in the idea that you will be ok. Dont be afraid of the idea that things are bad, show some courage that things arent so bad.

Turtle crashed his atv sunday night. It was his worst crash to date. Thank goodness that he wasnt hurt, but it isnt the point. Immediately after I righted it and brought it to him, the little man climbed on it and rode it back to the house. He had just crashed and was scared. Courage.

The world is not going to end tomorrow. Show some courage in your own ability to keep it turning. Dont be afraid to buy the things that you need if you are able to buy them. Question the media. Is your life different that it was before? Bear in mind, although some of our lives are different, most of them have not really changed that much. It requires our own use of the c word to even question that.

Cutie knew without a doubt that her world was different. She could look down where her training wheels used to be and know for certain. She still tried to ride the bike. Most of us, I think, look around at what we are being told about our lives, and without even a little bit of certainty about the facts, are not showing courage in our own ability to deal with the situation.

Show some courage, Its the only way out of this thing.

Until next time,
Greg

Finding Soul

There are things that matter.

There are things that complete a person metaphysically. What that means really gets into the meat of what our existence is. I remember a cartoon years ago of earth inside a terrarium and a big lizard looking in on us. If you think about it, its just as easy to believe in as the teachings of our christian faith. "God is looking down on you from heaven." or from the outside of a fishbowl....

Metaphysics gets into the heart of your own reality.

again. there are things that matter. but what things matter most?

For me, there are the obvious, easy answers. my kids. my wife. my family. etc. But then it gets harder to define.

I love music. The style and type of music that i take in are very wide-ranging. But anyone who spends time with me has seen me beating out a rhythm on something without even realizing it. They could all tell you about that weird jazzy CD i had in the car that they really didn't care for. For me, music is one of those things that can sooth, release, and absorb me.

Integrity. I believe that what you say, and what you do should match. I don't think that a person who breaks their word to anybody can even trust themselves. If you make a promise, keep it.

Be careful. Not cautious, but full of care. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in the moment to the point that you forget the needs of those around you. Care enough to pay attention to their concerns, their comfort, their needs, and their wants. Be careful.

Always go for it. Whatever it seems to you at the time is made of unobtainium, go get it. As I say a lot, Find a way. Don't back down from some challenge because it seems hard, more than you can do, etc. (you know, a challenge...)

Lose your pride. Dont be too good for someone. Dont be to good for something. Some of the greatest minds that i have encountered have been wrapped in the unlikeliest of bodies and clothes. Dont be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Dont be embarrassed to admit your mistakes. lose your pride.

Lose your ego. As I have said many times; things always go better when you decide that you are the least important person in the room. people are more interested in your thoughts. you are more interested in theirs. The easiest way to improve the relationships in your life is to stop thinking of them as your relationship with that person and start thinking of them as the relationship that the person has with you.

Give. Whatever you have to give. For some its your money. Or your time. Or your shoulder to cry on. Or a ride to work. It is not really crucial what you give. It is more important that you do so.

We only get a few years on this adventure. The Lord says we get 70 years. The best thing that any of us can do is to enjoy what it is that has been provided for us. But do it with soul. Dont do your things because your friends do. Or because the media tells you its cool. Or any of the other umpteen reasons that people do things that they dont really believe in.

Having soul is relative to having a code. Define who it is that you want to be. set yourself some lofty goals. Try to be better than you believe you can be. But have soul.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite examples of soul.. I was to a car show recently... There were two cars that really stuck out in my mind. one was a trailered in, polished to the max show car that i dont think has been driven since it was finished. I am sure that the owner has a lot of blood sweat and tears invested.

The other car was what we call a rat rod. It was a cool body style car, mechanically built very well, with no updates to the bodywork. But it looked like something the owner might have driven in high school. It was period correct.

Which has more soul?

Try to always allow your impact to be more important that your rewards, for that is the essence of what it means to have soul.

Thanks for tuning in....

Relationships

What is a serious relationship?

When you begin you talk about your significant other, what is it that you talk about?

Some of us talk about that person's accomplishments in life. Some of us talk about our sex life. Some of us talk about the children that we have brought into the world together. Some of us complain. Some of us talk about what the person looks like. Some of us talk about how much money they make. The list goes on and on.

What do you talk about? What is it about that person that keeps you interested? And most importantly, are you focused on the things that are important to you; or those things that are important to the person you are talking to?

I was forced this week to think about how often it happens that we are focused on different things in our relationships.

In this situation, and it is important because the differences caused the end of a relationship, the things that they were focused on were very different indeed, but yet could have been aligned given some good communication. I will admit, however, that the communication would have had to happen quite a while ago.

He was focused on being the best daddy, and provider that he could. This kept him from home for a full time job, and also for the purpose of working on the side in an effort to make extra money to support the household. Additionally, as we all do, he needed time with his friends.

She was focused on many of the same things, but worked an opposite shift of what he did. What happened is that many of the times that they could have been spending together, he was working on the side, or relieving stress with other people.

What happened is that she ended up feeling as though he wasnt giving her the attention that she needed. He wasnt fulfilling that part of her that wanted the same amount of attention that he gave to his work, his side jobs, his daughter, and his friends. This led to her finding somebody who would give her that attention for now. He ended up with a broken heart and a lot of confusion over what caused the situation. Bear in mind that his goals were to provide for the family no matter how much time it took, and also that he thought that she understood that fact.

I do not know the third party involved. That fact does not bother me even a little. I do know that he does not know what he is in for. Right now, I think that the two of them are having a good time, everything is fresh and new. He's trying to be nice to the child, give his girlfriend whatever she wants, etc.

But here is what I also know. For a long time, the ex-boyfriend managed to keep the wheels turning. He was a great daddy, and will be forever by the way. He managed to earn a good living for them. He worked hard to pay off the debts that they had. He stayed home with the baby when he needed to. He tried to be good to his girlfriend and give her whatever amount of time that he could. He is a great friend. The guy doesnt have any time left except to sleep when he's got all of that done.

I think that this new guy has a hell of a rough row to hoe. And I also think that he doesnt have any idea. I hope for the little girl's sake that he is strong enough to keep up.

Communication is key in any relationship. "The legend" (my friend the ex-boyfriend) would have changed his whole world for this woman if he had known that she wanted him to. But the communication wasnt there. Legend would have quit working on the side. He would have limited his time with friends. I believe that if he had been made aware of what she felt she needed, he would have taken whatever steps he needed to take in order to make things better for her.

But its too late now.

My fear is that Legend's ex-girl may someday soon find out how good she really had it, and that it will be way too late to get it back. It is very likely that by the time she does, he will have found somebody else. And that will be her loss when it happens. I also fear that this new guy isnt going to turn out to have enough of a pair to deal with the fact that he just became an instant de-facto husband and father. Im not afraid for him. Im afraid for the toddler, whom i love dearly.

And so it goes... In any relationship, there ought to be one simple rule that we all live by... "I am the least important person here. My needs and desires need to come after the needs and desires of those around me. I need to humble myself to those that I am in relationships with and take my pleasure from filling their needs."

I honestly believe that if we all had this attitude, every relationship in our lives would benefit greatly. It would make you a better friend. A more caring husband. A less egotistical boss. A more willing employee. You can fill in the blanks from there.

Imagine how Legend's situation could have turned out given his attitude adjustment.

From his perspective, maybe he would have simply made a point to adjust his schedule so that he could go grocery shopping or run errands with her.

Maybe she would have taken the time to notice what he was trying to do for them as a family.

Maybe they would have been able to get on the same page about their life goals.

And perhaps, just maybe, it wouldnt have had to end.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish people could just set their own ego's aside and talk about things. This relationship is truly tragic.

More on Motivation

I am having a harder time working on this car than the last one. It isn't that i don't want to do the work. It isn't that I don't have the time. Oddly enough, it doesn't have to do with my skill level, which it did at the onset of the last project.

I think that this go round, I simply do not feel the same need for stress relief that I felt at this point in the last project.

Why is it that our accomplishments seem to come during those times that we are stressed?

It would appear that most times that I have done really exceptionally well; I have felt some urgent stressor to get to work.

So tonight I am going to examine this relationship. I think there are really only a few things in life that can motivate us.

Things that we want to accomplish can motivate. We want the next promotion, the next level in our savings account, the next loan paid off, those five fewer strokes off of our golf game. These sorts of stressors are usually self-inflicted, and have to do with whatever it is that we are interested in at the time.

Things that others want can also motivate. Your wife wants the bathroom back during a remodelling project. Your boss wants the sale you are working on to be complete. Your friends want to go out for a beer while you are working on either of the above.

Finally, things that your morals dictate will motivate. You have to stop at the side of the road and help that family with the broken or stuck car. You have to get to church by eight on Sunday. You have to be a patient and loving parent.

So why cant I get to work on this car?

Well, i think it goes like this. I have illustrated before that I likely have enough toys as it is, so the drive to finish the car isnt as great because I already have a Sunday Cruiser. In addition, My other toys need time as well, so that limits the time that I could be spending. This addresses the "things that I want" category.

Nobody that I know really cares when the car is done. For once, this is a project that I am working on for me and me alone. So that stressor also is absent.

Needless to say, there isnt a moral stressor to accomplish this restoration.

Which begs the question, "why am I letting this bother me if there is no stress to finish the job?"

Because it begs the question is the answer. It is clear at this point that I do find the job to be important, just maybe not as important at this time of the year as the other things that are going on.

So what do you do when you want to get something done, but dont want to get it done bad enough to be stressed about it? I think in this case, I am going to have to just make it a priority, whether I feel that I have to do so or not. otherwise the thing is just going to sit in my garage and take up space. And i think that this exact phrase may just be the stressor that I need. It is taking up space in the garage. If I get it done, at least I will be able to play with it.

Im going to go get to work.
Good night.
Greg

Patience.

Each time that I jot some notes here, I try to make sure that it is a form of discovery for me. Not so much that the writing is a source of discovery, but that the process of communicating the ideas helps me to organize whatever it is that my mind is whirring about with.

Today's thought is patience. It does not seem to make much of a difference what the subject matter is. Whatever your goal is, the end result will be much more satisfactory if you treat it with some patience.

I am living proof of a person's capacity to get a lot of work done in a very short amount of time. My biggest character flaw however, has been a lack of patience. Most people that I know can tell you a story about something that I have been involved with that turned out well, but could have been even better if i had "just spent a little more time."

Patience. I worked on three separate projects today. All three of them turned out very well in my opinion, but could have been just average. Today I had patience. What was the difference from my usual get it done attitude?

Job one: Foose's window tint. I am by no means a window tinting expert. But I've done enough of it in the past to have learned patience the hard way. I would say I managed to pull off a semi-professional quality job on the windows today due to my own capacity for patience. Why? Not my car, and I wanted it to be perfect. It will be close once it cures.

Job two: Mrs. Onslager's Driveway. Our across-the-street neighbor has a gravel drive that was sort of washed out by storm water. My other neighbor, we'll call him the Iowan, we haven't introduced him yet, brought his skid steer home yesterday so that I could gather up some gravel and re-grade the driveway with it. Again, I exercised some patience with the equipment, and the result looks fantastic.

Job three: My own kids. Likely enough said. I tend to find that even when you are frustrated by the fact that your kids have the attention span of a flashbulb, exercising a little patience really will change the frustration to enjoyment of your time with them.

As I set about examining this idea today, I sort of found that it applies to most areas of life. Those people who are most financially stable seem to also be the ones who are most patient in their quest to acquire the things they want to own. Those who are revered as skilled craftsmen are also know for being nit-picky, which is just another word for patient. Those who practice a craft to perfection have exercised the p-word with one particular skill set to the point where us mere mortals may have become bored. Other places for extreme patience; Hunters, Carpenters, Masons, etc.

There do not seem to be areas in life which do not lend themselves well to the idea. I dare you to find a situation in which the quality of the result is not due to exercising the skill either in using or learning the process. Basketball players move very quickly and make very fast decisions. Without patience however, they do not spend the endless hours practicing, running drills, working out, losing games, etc, that get them to the top levels. It takes ALMOST A DECADE of school before you get to call yourself a doctor.

The very idea of continuing to work at something in spite of failure is a perfect example.

I am told, as I recall, that Thomas Edison failed to create a light bulb somewhere around 500 times before he didn't need a candle anymore. You have all used WD40. Ever wonder what it stands for? Water Displacement, 40th try. Patience.

In this day and age, most of us have the good fortune to be able to expect to live a good, healthy, and most importantly, long life. As you look at the things that you are doing, remember to take your time, know that you don't have to get it done right this minute, and most importantly, exercise patience.

In the words of Hootie ( sorry Mr. Rucker, you'll always be Hootie to me.... ) "It wont be like this for long...."

Definition of the Sabbath

It has been some time since I have considered the keeping of the sabbath.

I suppose the most common definition of such is the 19th century, dont work, praise god, etc idea of it. I dont think that the idea works out so well in practice in the modern age.

Tonight I tried to come up with a better definition of what a sunday is for. It turns out that the definition is more of a list to me... I believe that the original idea of the sabbath was to focus on those things that are ultimately most important to you. In the early times, when food itself was hard to come by, I suppose that the definition of the sabbath that so easily springs to mind came out of necessity. It wasnt so much showing respect for god as it was hoping and trusting that if this ritual was followed, God himself would provide food and shelter for another week. Rightly so I think.

But in this day and age, although I do believe that my family and I are provided for to a great amount by the gifts we have been endowed with; I dont really think that the original idea of the sabbath is really quite as crucial.

As Ive stated, I think the real idea behind the sabbath, the seventh day if you will, is rest. Relaxation. Some time to be who you really are. Etc.

SO I compiled a list of my favorite things to do on a Sunday. I think that they really do reflect the sabbath ideology for me. I'll examine the commonalities of them after the list. I really do find it quite striking.

1. Take my kids and my friends out in the boat fishing.

2. Grill out with friends and neighbors.

3. Clean up the yard with my boys, be it snow or grass.

4. Watch the packers, live or on tv.

5. Visit my parents or my in-laws.

6. Play with my kids and thier friends.

7. Play with my own friends.

8. Eat too much.

9. Read.

Oddly enough, there are a lot of things intertwined into this list that I think really do reflect the idea of keeping the seventh day. The bible basically gives us the gist of it in genesis. "on the seventh day he rested"

It does not say that on the seventh day he dressed up in his best clothes, went to church at the crack of dawn, and fell on his knees. It says he rested.

Although I do believe that our Lord deserves to be worshipped and honored as often as possible, I also believe that the bible pretty clearly states that the seventh day is to be one of rest.

I think that my list illustrates exactly that sort of rest. I also find every item on it to be in some manner worshipful. Most of the things on it take place outdoors, with other people whom I care about. My list does not include going to the bar or partying with my buddies. Taking a kid fishing, for example, is to me the ultimate thing to do on a sunday. I am spending time with those most important to me, in a way that, I think, glorifies God. I am taking that young life out of the technologically bombarded world that we all live in, and placing him in direct communion with that which has been provided for him. When my son and I are in the boat, I am by and large, the only outside influence in his environment besides the occasional bluegill.

The same goes, in one fashion or another, for the rest of my list.

And so, I ask you to consider the sabbath. I wonder if you will find that your sundays are filled with the things that reflect a day of rest and enjoyment of what god has provided for you. Are you spending that day off with those people who matter most, who you can enjoy, who help you to relax, or are you spending it wrapped up in the world?

I believe that the original idea behind the seventh day was to regroup, to be appreciative of what has been done, and to be thankful for it. For some, that means a church service, for others it means some " quality time" with whomever it is that is most important to you on this planet.

In short, Glorifying God can sometimes be as simple as enjoying what he has given you.

In Jesus Name...
Greg

Missing Children

First things first. I did not know the little girl we we searching for. I dont know her family. And I was only one of probably 200 or more people walking the fields and forests this afternoon. None of us were particularly special for being there.

Foose and I spent the afternoon today clearing trails on his property for the atv's. It wasn't very hard work, and of course we had to ride them for quite a while afterwords. Then, after my kids were done with naptime, Babe brought tank and turtle out, and we had to ride some more. It was a fun day... When the riding was done, we all ate dinner, and relaxed for a while.

During the course of dinner, we had heard some sirens and what not going past the house, didnt make much of it. Foose's mom called, informed us that a three year old girl was missing about a half mile away, and that the ems team was asking for help locating her. Since Babe was taking the kids home to go to bed, Foose and I set out across the fields on the quads to see if we could help.

We met with the person in charge of the scene, He assigned us to the group led oddly enough, by the apprentii.

Lesson one for today. Apprentii is my younger buddy. We met when he was about 16, and have spent many many hours together since. I'll get into that on another post. Suffice it to say that I had no idea how together the kid is until tonight. The guy is i think 22 now. He led a group of four firemen and probably 16 of us civilians on a search mission through fields and woods and swamps. He kept track of all of us, made sure nobody got lost, and that we were all going the right way. Kudos. And by the way, nobody had any question who was in charge.

Lesson two. I have not been this scared in a while. The whole time we were searching, I kept imagining tank. This little girl must be about his size. SO the two thoughts in my head were 1. I cant imagine if we were all out here looking for him, and 2. Where would he go if it was him. It was both heart wrenching and eye opening at the same time. At one point, I found myself walking along the edge of the woods and as I thought about where would tank go, I found myself looking under things, behind trees, imagining places that he would hide if he was alone and scared. I think that I learned a lot about my child this afternoon.

Lesson Three. We live in a very nice little area here. This little girl ( who is reportedly ok by the way) lives on a road that is i think about 2 miles long. By the time the search was over, that two mile stretch was literally parked full of cars. It looked like game day at lambeau. I would guess that there were at least 40 atv's either on trailers or on the sides of the road. Everybody that heard the call for help came out. It speaks volumes about the humanity of rural people.

Just a sidenote; Because of our rural environment, there was never a discussion of the possibility that this little girl was kidnapped or anything else; the tone in general was to question where she wandered off to. I love my neighborhood.

I hope that this was a once in a lifetime afternoon for me. I hope that I never have to help look for another missing child. Not that I am not willing to help, just that I hope no more go missing.

But unfortunately, it happens every day in one place or another.

I used to think that the parents who were "over protective" of their kids had it all wrong. You have seen these people. They are the ones at any given public outdoor event who have the toddlers on a leash. I always thought that if you were any kind of parent at all, you would know where your child was at any second, that the kid wouldnt be able to leave your sight, much less need the leash to keep him in check. Tonight, although i wont likely go buy the leashes, I found myself reflecting on how many times my kids are not supervised. When Ive got to just run in at the gas station, or when they are playing outside and I have to be in the house for a minute. Any parent can name a hundred examples of times that they have done these things. "I just left him for a second..."

By the way, it is a necessity of life. Sometimes you just have to pee. Or answer the phone. Or get something to eat. ( or even take a sanity break) It doesnt make you a bad parent.

There are two things that I imagine this experience has made me realize.

I dont think every parent CAN really supervise their kids every second of every day. Kids do go missing. Kids do get hurt and worse while the parents back is turned for that split second. There are sometimes horrible consequences. Facts are facts. It doesnt make them bad parents. Just like a car accident, sometimes things happen so fast, there isnt time to react even if you hadnt just run quick in the house.

I also dont think that parents SHOULD supervise their kids every minute once they reach a certain point. Some of the strongest memories that I have, some of the most formative ones for who I am today, happened in situations where, if my parents had been watching, they would have kicked my ass or worse. I am certain that you agree that an awful lot of who you are today has to do with your own independence, your own ability to make decisions. I very seldom worry about what turtle is doing at any given time, but yet, kids his age wander off all the time too.

And how do we learn to make decisions? You guessed it; usually by making the wrong ones first.
Our parents, like any good role models, had they been present, would have tried to prevent those mistakes. An illustration of this happened this afternoon. I was riding the new trails with turtle, and I kept stopping him, explaining how to take this curve, and that rut, and how to properly apex this corner, and what to do in this hill. He looked at me and asked one of the most astute questions of his young life. "Dad, Cant you just be quiet and let me ride?"

This seems to be one of the most central points of parenting. It is very hard for us to let go. All I want to do is wrap my boys in a big soft blanket and keep them safe until one of us dies of old age. But I cant do that. The most responsible thing for me to do is give them some space. To guide them where I can, and let them figure out the rest. Like the turtle just wanting to ride the trail, I cant over teach him. At some point, I have to trust that I have shown him at least how not to get hurt too badly, and that he knows enough from there to handle the situation. Today he took a wrong turn, and found himself lost. I interpreted his reaction to sit still and wait for me to find him ( i knew where he was) as evidence that he had been listening somewhere when they told him what to do if he ever got lost.

Think of all the things that your kids do that are hard for you to watch. The first time they ride a two wheeler. The first time you have to leave them in somebody else's care. The first day of school. Swimming lessons. Swimming in general. You get the idea. But if you dont let them try, how are they ever going to succeed? If I wrapped my boys up in fleece; They would surely live to adulthood unscathed, but how much damage to them will I have caused?

Back to the point. I dont know how this little girl wandered away from home today, but I do know that she is safe tonight. I just hope that my own willingness to allow my children freedom never requires the good hearted batch of folks that I saw today to straighten out.

Thank god for happy endings,
Greg