Motivation and social status.

What drives us to own the things that we do? The clothes that we wear? The house that we live in? The car we drive?

I met somebody today, a customer; I suspect that he owns one of my trucks based solely on the comments that he receives for owning it. This is not an original idea. At some point, all of us have encountered this sort of mentality. We have all purchased something, large or small, merely to impress somebody. It is part of being a social being.

Things, your "stuff" if you will, are generally acquired for a purpose. Sometimes its for the utility of the thing, sometimes for some level of pleasure that it grants.

Utility is a fairly easy one to define. The thing has a purpose. A screwdriver is for turning screws. A fork is for eating. A lawn mower is for, yup, you guessed it. This is the essence of utility.

Pleasure is a whole different thing altogether. It is the idea which greys the line between a thing being a utility need and a pleasure center. I would much rather mow the lawn with a riding mower, or go fishing in a power boat than row. I would much rather drive a nice sport utility with leather and a cd player than a rusted out car. There is a certain amount of pleasure in each of those things.

But to the point that I started out to make; It seems as though one of the greatest pleasure sources that any of our stuff provides is the implied social status that we gain by owning that stuff. It is, I think, one of the largest motivators that our society values. How do I stack up against my neighbor, my friend, even people that I dont know?

I'm by no means passing judgement on this thought process. I do it as much as anybody.

That said, I walked outside to the barn last night and looked around at my stuff. The question that I found myself asking was "Do I own this for pure utility?" Turns out, I have very little stuff that fall into that category. Most of my things are some mix of utility and pleasure.

The next thing that I tried to do was to categorize. This was harder. At what point does a thing become something that is completely owned for pleasure? I decided to categorize things based on proximity to either end of the scale. At one end of the scale is pure utility, the other end holds purely pleasure. Oddly enough, the nature of the pleasure derived from stuff has its own spectrum all together, making this a chart rather than a line.

SO I drew the graph. The vertical axis ran from self-actualized pleasure up to socially actualized. The horizontal axis ran from complete utility out to no utility. I made an x as i inventoried some of my stuff in the hopes of finding some sort of trend. Again, the exercise was to find out where my own mind stands with regard to my stuff.

Rating things along the utility/pleasure scale was relatively easy. the only question to answer was where the thing rated along the line. Is this thing more useful or more pleasurable?

Rating things on the other spectrum was more difficult. Once I decided that my lawn mower was mostly for utility purposes, it seemed that it was also purchased for my self. Except I found that I had to move it up the scale a bit from self-actualized, because I actually do enjoy the few times that someone I know comments that it is a nice mower.

And here's what I learned through this process.

Although I usually try to rationalize my purchases as being self-actualized, and utility based, it turns out that I do own more stuff than I thought that edges up the line towards being socially actualized. I never realized before this that an awful lot of my clothes are in my closet only because I need to look good for work (because it is important what people think of your attire)
I still tended towards the self/utility end of the spectrum, but it was surprising to me how often I found myself at the opposite end...

I discovered through this process that the utility/pleasure axis is easy to define. My tools are a great example. We own tools to do work. But some of the tools that I own also happen to involve a process that I really enjoy. This is the reason I spend so much time in the garage.

The self/others axis also works in this example. I dont think that I own many tools that I would really feel compelled to show off to somebody. If I purchase a better, or fancier tool, generally it is because it does a better job than some other alternative, and that I will have a better time using it. This axis also has its pitfalls however. For instance, I have a really nice welder. I knew when I bought the thing that people I know would recognize it as a high-end piece. I also have to admit that this recognition is part of the reason I didnt buy a cheaper one.

I think that this has been a valuable exercise.

At the end of the day, it would seem as though the folks who find themselves charted to the self end of the graph are more satisfied with the things that they have than those who rest on the social end of it. I know that one of my greatest stressors is the times that I dont feel as though I stack up to those around me, whether it is stuff or ability at something. But I also know that I dont often find myself making those comparisons.

It would seem to me that if a person has stuff only for the purpose of impressing, it would be difficult to cope unless you were constantly getting more stuff. Once someone has seen that new thing, you arent going to get the same pleasure again from it unless you go get another thing. The show car world is a wonderful example of this. Think of some of the displays that these guys have got to show off their cars... But again, the social actualization can be very very pleasurable. It builds the ego. That is very powerful. People will put themselves in the poor house to get it.

Agrarians do things the other way. Their ego is very self-actualized. I tend to find myself most happy when I've been able to accomplish some new goal. If I have repaired a car, installed a new garbage disposal, remodelled some part of the house, these are the times when I feel the most valuable. Normally it is not something that anybody else notices out loud. I dont normally feel any real sense of comparison from it. I simply feel good about what I was able to do. That feeling, or the pursuit of it, has led to many long nights and sore backs. All worth it in the end. This feeling can be achieved in many ways, everyone has their own, for some its mastery of some sport, a new low score in golf, or as mentioned before, completion of a show car.

The long and the short of it is that I really feel more of a knowledge of self from this exercise. It has left me with a better understanding of wants versus needs, as well as what it is that motivates me personally.

I suspect that we all have the ideal of thinking that we are motivated more by ourselves than by what others may think. I also suspect that we may be surprised to find out how often in our lives it is the other way around... Again, its what makes us social beings. I would think that some of those people who rate as our best friends are the same ones who purvey a legitimate interest in our lives. It drives the social actualized nature of our beings.

Tell somebody that they've impressed you. You'll make their day.
---lifelong learner