Ego

As has been my standard lately, I'll start with a definition.....

(ē'gō, ĕg'ō) pronunciation
n., pl., e·gos.

1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
2. In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.
3.
1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
2. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.

Thank you answers.com

Nobody wants to be egotistical. No-one thinks that they are an ego-maniac. Nobody intentionally buys something to get an ego boost. But yet we have all heard these terms.

Ego has a bad connotation. I have said many times, and repeated many times, my theory about being the least important person in the room, and what that will do for your relationships. And it works. Because we are allllllllll egotistical. When you behave in such a manner as to convey that you are more interested in the well-being of others than yourself, it also leaves the impression that you are interested in others. Which of course, you are.

Except. But. However. Nobody, and i mean nobody, can ever truly be more interested in others than themselves. I dont care who you are. I dont care how gracious, caring, loving, giving, etc. that you are, you are egotistical. You DO Care more about yourself than anybody else. at some root level at least. You come first.

Sucks to think about doesnt it? you egomaniac prick. kidding.

But it is a fact. let me soften the blow.

My birthday always blows chunks. Every year. I get within a week of it, and I get depressed. Not because I am worried about aging. Not because I dont get enough presents. Not because I dont really like eating cake that much.

My birthday is depressing because I havent had one in a long time that fed my ego. There. I said it. I have not had a birthday lately that made me feel as though the people who knew it was my day legitimately gave a flying you know what one way or the other. Last year was almost awesome. And then i ended up working right through my birthday party, which my family and friends put together, and would have rocked. but it ended up blowing chunks.

This sounds reallllly childish. That brings me to the kindergarten theory. read back a few dozen posts if you dont remember that one. What kindergartner you know would not feel completely let down if they felt that their birthday didnt matter to anybody? This guy right here. And it is how I always feel. Even when my friends and family care; I end up working late and miss the whole thing. And it didnt get rescheduled.

I admit it. I have an ego. I want it to be boosted once in a while. we all do.

Birthdays aside, lets get into the idea of an ego boost.

Examples. at least for guys, and maybe for women too, dunno, never been a woman.

Feeling physically attractive to others.
Feeling as though others think you are intelligent.
Feeling as though others are jealous of you.
Feeling superior to others.
Feeling more successful than others.
Having a lot of friends.
Having cooler stuff than other people.
Being superior in a competition to other people.
Being needed or wanted by other people.

you get the idea. Your ego is boosted when you feel as though you are important for some reason. the level of importance you carry is determined to you by the general impression that you are given by other people. In essence, your ego is boosted by what other people say or think about that aspect of you.

crap. Most of the things that I have written here have given the impression that I was mentally above or beyond that. Most of these posts have expressed my desire to be more logical, more reasonable, above this basic line of reasoning. Remember, like I said so many times, it isnt about you.

BUT IT IS ABOUT YOU. Nobody can help having an ego. Your ego is what makes you feel good about all of the things that arent about you. If you can take the attitude that this situation isnt about you, and then turn it to a feeling of self worth based on the quality of relationships you are developing around you, then guess what. You just made it about you.

And you cant help it.

Ego is the root cause for most of the worlds problems, small and large scale.

Marriages break up because one partner does not feel as though their partner is as attracted to them physically or emotionally as some other alternative. I mean it. I know people who got divorced because one partner felt as though they werent "wanted" in one of those ways. If somebody shows up who does want them that way, its over. DOnt tell me you dont know somebody who worked his ass off, trying to provide for his family, and lost his wife to a loser who made her feel sexy. Or the guy who left his wife of 30 years , who struggled through running a business, because he found a cute young woman who made him feel as though she wanted him physically.

Wars are started because one government is made to feel left out of politics, or slighted in some way, and their beliefs or pride are not important to another nation.

I could go on all night.

but i wont.

New rule. In any relationship that you are involved in. Rather than making yourself the least important person in the room, try making yourself the person who understands what it is to communicate your feelings for the others in the group. everybody needs a ego boost once in a while. Make your friends feel valued for what you do for them. Make your partner feel sexy and desirable. Tell someone thank you for what they have done for you and mean it. Tell your kids that you are proud of them. And dont be afraid to expect the same in return. Its ok to want a pat on the back once in a while.

Maybe, just maybe, your birthday wont suck this year. Because you were made to feel as if your ego has been fed..