what other people need.

when the light is getting dim
and hope is not so near
the days when things are not so great
you feel like no one hears.

when the world just wont slow down
and let you find your pace
those times are when you think your life
is filled with empty space.

and all the days of time gone by
and all the things you've done
every test you've tried, and failed
every single one.

the days when it all goes to hell
and those when no one cares
no matter of the work you've done
or of the love you've shared

it doesn't matter who you've helped
in selfless thought or deed
and nobody will see you there
in your own time of need.

and these days are a test of strength
of guts and power and grace
if you can just gather up
and get back on your pace.

remember always, in your head
what no one ever says
the good things that you do without
a thought of being praised.

and if you are so fortunate
to find yourself raised up
remember those around you
who deserve to get some props.

you cannot see in others
those whose lights are getting dim.
so remember when you greet a friend
to try and lift up him.

it never fails, it never does
just when youre at your worst
that somebody more thoughtful
will find time to put you first.

Opinions and beliefs.

Ok. Ive been thinking about this one for a long time.

Homosexuality, Same sex marriage, The church, are you ready? Here we go.

First off, let me tell you that I have friends and relatives that deal with this subject every day because they fall into the category. Further, it is a subject that I feel very very strongly about. And finally, that as usual, it isnt about me. What I believe about this has nothing to do with what I am going to say tonight. I would also ask you to set your own beliefs aside during the course of this essay; so that you may get my point before deciding whether you agree with me. You can make that decision after you have heard me out.

It is my understanding that the state I live in recently passed a bill allowing "domestic partnerships" between people of the same gender. I see it as a clever twist of words in order to allow same-sex marriage. Whether you believe in homosexuality or not is not the question here. yet.

If you are a married person, you have certain legal rights to your spouse. One of the most striking; and the thing that I am most sympathetic to; is that married people have the right to see thier spouse at the hospital should something terrible happen. Unmarried people are not considered family; and therefore do not share this right. I can tell you that if someone told me I wasnt allowed in the room with my wife in such a situation, it would not turn out well. Homosexual couples did not share this legal right untill recently. These are the sorts of legal rights that I am talking about.

It is also my understanding that the church to which I belong is considering all manner of things regarding the acceptance of homosexuals. Some churches are considering allowing people of this nature to serve in some pretty important leadership positions.

I think you might have some idea why I felt the need to express myself tonight. This really is a hot-button topic for me.

We all know that our religious beliefs are among our strongest. Whether we are Christian, Athiest, Scientologist, Jewish, Muslim, etc. It is fact that most of us hold our faith as near and dear to our heart, and very important to our lives. Interestingly,every faith seems to have a strong stance on this topic.

I grew up with the understanding and belief that homosexuality was wrong. In the same way as lying, stealing, and all of the other things that you arent supposed to do, I have been taught that it is wrong to be gay. It is what I believe.

That said, I also was raised to believe that it is not my job to judge anybody. In old times, people were subjected to all manner of horrible things by thier peers for behaviors that were judged to be wrong. Read the Scarlet Letter sometime if you dont agree. Hell, read the Bible.

That brings about my next thought. What does the Bible tell us about our Gay friends? After reading all sorts of texts and interpretations over the course of the last week or so, turns out that the bible ends up being open to interpretation on the matter. This happens a lot when you look to scripture for a specific ruling on a specific sin. Depending how you read it, and what you believe about the authors and thier intent, and how much you know about translation from the original hebrew to our language; You can read the bible to say whatever you want about homosexuality and how to handle it with regard to your church. If you are gay, and want to prove that God doesnt mind, you can find an interpretation to do so. If you are very conservative, and want to prove that being gay ranks up there with murder; that can also be done.

The text that I did find, and no, I'm not going to give you the address to find it, (if you want to know, get out your bible like you ought to anyway) talks about the fact that "they" had hardened their hearts to thier sin, and were not repentant of it. I really think that this applies to all of our sins, even though it speaks about todays topic. I have been taught that the only way to the Father is through his Son, and that the only way to him is to believe in him, confess your sins, and repent of them. If your heart is hardened to your sins, you cannot repent of them. It means that you wont admit that what you have done is wrong, or be sorry for it.

How many times are we told that being homosexual is biological. predisposed. There are those that try to convince us that they arent doing anything wrong. Like I said about the Bible, they can even use it and interpretation of it to prove thier point. Anything but a fault in the person or in the way that they were raised. Anything to not admit a sin. This is the essence of a hardened heart. Try to tell a homosexual that they should repent thier sin and go straight or be celibate. I suggest a ski mask. You can find it in all of us, in all manner of sins, not just homosexuality. Again, I refer to it as a sin, but it is just my own opinion. You form your own.

Form your own opinion.... The next step in the thought process relates to exactly that. When I talk about domestic partnerships, and the legal rights gained by those involves, It reminds me that this is not just a question of theology. It is a question of legality and public opinion. We have the supreme privilege of living in a free democratic society. What I believe does not necessarily equate to what becomes a legal right. What a homosexual believes also does not equate. What becomes law in this country is that which appears to be believed by most of the people. Most of the people, that is, who participate in the society.

Whether you do or do not believe that it is ok to be gay. Whether you do or do not believe that domestic partnerships are ok, the law will be determined by those who voice thier opinion.. I have been told that this is a naive notion of how it is that our country works. Kiss my ass. When I get to the point that I dont believe that democracy works, Im moving to Canada.

SO, the fact is that domestic partnerships are ok in Wisconsin because most participating wisconsinites are ok with it. I havent heard any huge public outcry to the contrary..... This part of the question is not a question of theology. WE do not live in a christian-governed environment, quite the opposite actually.

What is the one thing that creates law? Public outcry. Laws are made in much the same way as my son's bed. It doesnt happen unless somebody pesters to be point that it seems better to make it happen that not.

Now, my conservative friends; I have not forgotten you. Let me guess, Sodom and Gemorrah right? Yes, the old testament can be read to cast a very dim future for homosexuals. It can also be read to cast the same thing for women who dont cover thier heads in church. Or a SLAVE who doesnt SUBMIT ( ie sexually) to thier master. I can go on and on with examples that you will tell me are no longer applicable to our society, yet you will defend your old testament beliefs about homosexuality.

What about participation in the church? Should we allow them to worship with us? I think that we all say yes we should. What about teach sunday school? hmmm. Become Pastors? ( and thats when the fight started....)

Lets go to that extreme. And get to the point about judging each others sins. If we decide that a homosexual cannot pastor a church, what about somebody who is a lyar? or a thief? or somebody who covets thier neighbors goat? How wild is it that it is a commandment to not covet thy nieghbors possessions (goat), but it is not a commandment that relationships only happen between man and woman? Notice it also is not a commandment that relationships only happen between married people.

When I was in middle school, there was a very nice couple who wanted to be married in our church. Both were very well respected and active in the church. Our lead pastor would not do the ceremony for them because the groom had been divorced. Our associate pastor had a different view and married them. I am definetely not saying that we should conduct marriages of homosexuals as if they were approved by the lord. What i am saying is that there are all different ideals, and ways of expressing them out there. Which method does the most good for God?

Brass Tacks.
There are all different sorts of sinners out there. Fact is that there are as many different sorts as there are individual people. All of us qualify. No matter how small or large the sins, we all do it.

That in mind, our job in this world is be sheperds for the lord. We dont get to decide who goes up and who goes down. We are not the judges. Our job is to expose as many people as possible to as much of Jesus as we can. And, as I recall, He Loved the least of Us most. We do not need to spend our time trying to save the ones who have already been saved. We are to be searching out the lost. Spreading the good word if you will.

So what do you do? First of all, if you have a belief on the subject, voice it. It is the only way that you can affect the country in which you live. Vote. Write your congressman. Participate in a rally. Tell your pastor how you feel. Get your voice heard in your church.

Secondly, love thy neighbor. Soften that hardened heart. Let god work through you. Remember that your job is to tell the story, not to pass judgement.

Finally, the elephant in the room. Can a homosexual be a Pastor? I can tell you that I would not attend that church. But, remember, it isnt about me.

Questions to answer to decide.

Does the bible tell us that homosexuality precludes saving souls? What it does talk about is quite a few men who "loved each other dearly" You decide.

Is it possible that a person who is gay will have an understanding of faith such that they can lead a church?

Is a homosexual able to be a positive role model and caregiver for the congregation?

All of these are tough questions. But I will leave you with just one more that I think sums up the point very well.

Does God have the ability to love, forgive, and use that person to his purpose; and is it up to you and I to judge whether or not he is allowed to do so?

Food for thought.
Greg

churches.

What is the Church.
What is it that a person gets from church?
I ask this as I am spending a Saturday afternoon at Family Camp. Our family spends one weekend each year at the camp that our church sponsors. It is a time, at least for me, of focus. When you remove the outside world from your family; access to television, radio, the internet, even cellphone coverage, it creates a situation that is not common enough in our day to day world.
There is an odd dynamic at work here. It is almost as though being in this environment brings out the best in us as parents. Our patience level is heightened. Our vices are sworn away. And our children and spouses become a primary topic.
To me, Church, and its environments, are social institutions. We hold these institutions in such high regard, and with such high respect, that allowing ourselves an extended stay in them changes our normal day to day behaviors. Because those around us are also in the same frame of mind, we find ourselves in a culture which promotes behaving in the ways that we really should be doing anyway.
In our normal lives, it is admissible to not be focused on these things. There are plenty of excuses. We have to make a living, maintain the yard and house, and so on… As I have said before, “the things you own…” So we do not act in the manner all of the time that the environment of church encourages.
So what is the church? How does it have this effect? I’m not asking whether you believe in God. I’m not getting into the idea of faith at all. I’m asking what the dynamic is in a church that creates this sort of a culture. I don’t feel as though I am under any kind of social pressure to behave in some way when I’m here. I also don’t feel as though there is anyone judging my behavior. But yet my behavior changes.
It almost seems as if the removal of the outside world and the forces of it brings a person back to self. In the case of most people that I know, this is a good thing. We find ourselves behaving to a higher standard than we do when surrounded by the normal stresses of life.
I believe that this is the essence of Church. Given the fact that the ideals of the Church center around basic good, and not so good, human behavior, it is only natural that we would find ourselves apiring to that standard. When you are in some of the other environments of life, you work to their standards. Salespeople behave a certain way. Guys act a certain way at the bar. Any social institution that you will find in your life has its own set of social rules.
The fact that the church has survived for so long is to me an example of the strength of those feelings that adhering to its social rules creates. Any social entity that maintains its own existence for a long time seems to be similar in that it creates strong feelings amongst its participants. That is what determines the power of a social institution.
The church is a powerful force. Bear in mind that most of the worlds wars have been fought over differences in the beliefs of the church. A person needs to be severely affected by a belief system in order to go out with their friends and neighbors and fight, willing to accept death, to protect that belief system. I cant think of a stronger social institution than that.
And why does it have such strength? I think it has a level of intoxication about it.
Yes. Intoxication. Like alchohol. Or nicotine. Or sex. Or cocaine. Or marijuana. Intoxication.
Think about this. I am sitting on the roof of a boathouse. Shooting the breeze with my best friend as we stare out at a beautiful view of the lake. I have spent the last 24 hours almost entirely with those people who are most important to me. We have spent a great deal of time with our focus on God. WE are relaxed, well fed, thankful, and spiritually satisfied. I feel great.
Just as if I were intoxicated.
What does this have to do with the power of the church? Back to the wars concept. Think prohibition. Think about the “war on drugs” There are endless examples of our willingness to fight for that which intoxicates us. And it certainly is evident that the church can have the effect.
Why don’t we get this feeling through our normal Sunday morning sessions more often? I know that in my own case it seems that the filling of my soul tends to take a back seat to the fulfilling of our service’s routines and chants. When the members of your congregation can recite the prayers and what-not without having to think about what happens next; how intoxicating can your service really be?
I have never opened a beer because I wanted the same effect as a glass of water.
This explains to me the reasons that most Americans do not understand the idea of a holy war. We do not as a people find our spirituality, or our religion, to be very intoxicating. In other words, we don’t get enough joy or hope from either one to understand the people of the world who do get that level of joy and hope. It just isn’t very powerful for us.
I hear a lot lately about the “new churches” or the “mega churches” in the circles that I socialize. Most of the comments are not very complimentary. I hear about attendees who are “ not REAL Christians “
Most of the banter seems to come from the same folks who attend churches like mine. “go in peace and serve the lord” “thanks be to god” And I don’t think that they really understand what the missing dynamic in the growing churches is. I hear them talking about the institutions with words like permissive, and casual, and oddly enough the word open.
I don’t think that I can find any reference anywhere in the bible that indicates that Jesus decided someone wasn’t worth his time for any of those reasons.
Further. Perhaps, and just maybe, Could it be that these churches are growing because people actually get something out of going to their services? Do you think? Maybe these are growing because people feel an intoxication to the level that they are willing to (heaven forbid) put something into the offering plate?
Needless to say, Im really tired of people slamming each others church, but oddly enough; that’s how wars start.
Isnt it interesting to be institutionalized?

Getting back on that bike....

Those of us who are parents have all run into a few things in pretty much the same way.

One of those things has to do with teaching our children courage. Unfortunately, usually we are teaching a lesson that we are not sure we even know. I know that I am not usually willing to do something that i think could hurt me. How in the world am I supposed to teach my child to get past that feeling? It is to me the definition of courage.

Tonight I was privileged to participate in just such a lesson.

My neighbors have a daughter, whom we will call the little cutie. She is very upset that both of my boys ride a two wheeler, and does want to learn to do so. Her parents have been working very hard to teach her for the last few days, but with only limited success.

So tonight was another lesson.

Oddly, we represented all of the varieties of the task. We had a person who was willing to try, but also willing to give up. We had one who was trying as hard as could be done, but had a hard time controlling frustration. And we had one who had the unconditional love, but unfortunately, very poor aim. ( pine tree)

In short, Cutie will learn to ride a two wheeler very soon.

The more important element at work today is courage. Courage is to me that element of personality that provokes us to go on despite some obstruction, some force, that seems to be driving against us. It is that which does not allow us to give up in the face of the insurmountable.
It is that that helps us to try even though we face embarrassment, pain, sometimes even death. Courage is what keeps pow's alive. Courage is what makes a woman sit in the front of the bus. Courage, really, is that which creates any important change in our world.

That's right, i just compared training wheels to changing the world. And i meant it.

Think for a second what it must be like to realize that the very structure that kept you from scrapes and bruises on the certain death of the sidewalk were just removed by your father. It takes a shitload of courage to even try to ride the bike. To a little one, it is the emotional equivalent of taking on a Nazi squadron with a bow and arrow.

Which brings me to the central point of tonights thought.

Cutie kept on trying through the tears. She knew that she did not want any part of her to touch the ground during the course of trying to ride, she also could envision riding on the big girl bike. Bravo. She showed real courage. Even though her words did not indicate the sentiment, she kept getting back on.

In any show of courage, the person will make some sort of a plan, and then follow through in the face of uncertain odds.

This is exactly what our country needs to do right now. We suffer under the reign of the media. Good news does not sell. SO most of us are led to believe that we face a very uncertain future, cast in the light of alligators at our doors, and terrorists just over the horizon. So we cower in fear lately. We do not spend money. We work at our jobs just hard enough to keep them. I believe that most employed americans are working less hard at their jobs right now than they did when we were being told things were good. I believe this is so because I think that people are just waiting to be laid off, fired, etc.

This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we believe that our economy is in the tubes, it will be. If we believe that there is no reason to show interest because we are going to lose our jobs any second, we will lose our jobs. Not because the economy is bad, but rather because we havent been doing them. If we believe that we are losing jobs in this country because the almighty "they" can do it faster, better and cheaper that we can, they will do it, and we will lose them.

It is time to behave like the little cutie. Work hard if you have a job. Work hard to get a job if you dont have one. Show some courage in the idea that you will be ok. Dont be afraid of the idea that things are bad, show some courage that things arent so bad.

Turtle crashed his atv sunday night. It was his worst crash to date. Thank goodness that he wasnt hurt, but it isnt the point. Immediately after I righted it and brought it to him, the little man climbed on it and rode it back to the house. He had just crashed and was scared. Courage.

The world is not going to end tomorrow. Show some courage in your own ability to keep it turning. Dont be afraid to buy the things that you need if you are able to buy them. Question the media. Is your life different that it was before? Bear in mind, although some of our lives are different, most of them have not really changed that much. It requires our own use of the c word to even question that.

Cutie knew without a doubt that her world was different. She could look down where her training wheels used to be and know for certain. She still tried to ride the bike. Most of us, I think, look around at what we are being told about our lives, and without even a little bit of certainty about the facts, are not showing courage in our own ability to deal with the situation.

Show some courage, Its the only way out of this thing.

Until next time,
Greg

Finding Soul

There are things that matter.

There are things that complete a person metaphysically. What that means really gets into the meat of what our existence is. I remember a cartoon years ago of earth inside a terrarium and a big lizard looking in on us. If you think about it, its just as easy to believe in as the teachings of our christian faith. "God is looking down on you from heaven." or from the outside of a fishbowl....

Metaphysics gets into the heart of your own reality.

again. there are things that matter. but what things matter most?

For me, there are the obvious, easy answers. my kids. my wife. my family. etc. But then it gets harder to define.

I love music. The style and type of music that i take in are very wide-ranging. But anyone who spends time with me has seen me beating out a rhythm on something without even realizing it. They could all tell you about that weird jazzy CD i had in the car that they really didn't care for. For me, music is one of those things that can sooth, release, and absorb me.

Integrity. I believe that what you say, and what you do should match. I don't think that a person who breaks their word to anybody can even trust themselves. If you make a promise, keep it.

Be careful. Not cautious, but full of care. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in the moment to the point that you forget the needs of those around you. Care enough to pay attention to their concerns, their comfort, their needs, and their wants. Be careful.

Always go for it. Whatever it seems to you at the time is made of unobtainium, go get it. As I say a lot, Find a way. Don't back down from some challenge because it seems hard, more than you can do, etc. (you know, a challenge...)

Lose your pride. Dont be too good for someone. Dont be to good for something. Some of the greatest minds that i have encountered have been wrapped in the unlikeliest of bodies and clothes. Dont be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Dont be embarrassed to admit your mistakes. lose your pride.

Lose your ego. As I have said many times; things always go better when you decide that you are the least important person in the room. people are more interested in your thoughts. you are more interested in theirs. The easiest way to improve the relationships in your life is to stop thinking of them as your relationship with that person and start thinking of them as the relationship that the person has with you.

Give. Whatever you have to give. For some its your money. Or your time. Or your shoulder to cry on. Or a ride to work. It is not really crucial what you give. It is more important that you do so.

We only get a few years on this adventure. The Lord says we get 70 years. The best thing that any of us can do is to enjoy what it is that has been provided for us. But do it with soul. Dont do your things because your friends do. Or because the media tells you its cool. Or any of the other umpteen reasons that people do things that they dont really believe in.

Having soul is relative to having a code. Define who it is that you want to be. set yourself some lofty goals. Try to be better than you believe you can be. But have soul.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite examples of soul.. I was to a car show recently... There were two cars that really stuck out in my mind. one was a trailered in, polished to the max show car that i dont think has been driven since it was finished. I am sure that the owner has a lot of blood sweat and tears invested.

The other car was what we call a rat rod. It was a cool body style car, mechanically built very well, with no updates to the bodywork. But it looked like something the owner might have driven in high school. It was period correct.

Which has more soul?

Try to always allow your impact to be more important that your rewards, for that is the essence of what it means to have soul.

Thanks for tuning in....

Relationships

What is a serious relationship?

When you begin you talk about your significant other, what is it that you talk about?

Some of us talk about that person's accomplishments in life. Some of us talk about our sex life. Some of us talk about the children that we have brought into the world together. Some of us complain. Some of us talk about what the person looks like. Some of us talk about how much money they make. The list goes on and on.

What do you talk about? What is it about that person that keeps you interested? And most importantly, are you focused on the things that are important to you; or those things that are important to the person you are talking to?

I was forced this week to think about how often it happens that we are focused on different things in our relationships.

In this situation, and it is important because the differences caused the end of a relationship, the things that they were focused on were very different indeed, but yet could have been aligned given some good communication. I will admit, however, that the communication would have had to happen quite a while ago.

He was focused on being the best daddy, and provider that he could. This kept him from home for a full time job, and also for the purpose of working on the side in an effort to make extra money to support the household. Additionally, as we all do, he needed time with his friends.

She was focused on many of the same things, but worked an opposite shift of what he did. What happened is that many of the times that they could have been spending together, he was working on the side, or relieving stress with other people.

What happened is that she ended up feeling as though he wasnt giving her the attention that she needed. He wasnt fulfilling that part of her that wanted the same amount of attention that he gave to his work, his side jobs, his daughter, and his friends. This led to her finding somebody who would give her that attention for now. He ended up with a broken heart and a lot of confusion over what caused the situation. Bear in mind that his goals were to provide for the family no matter how much time it took, and also that he thought that she understood that fact.

I do not know the third party involved. That fact does not bother me even a little. I do know that he does not know what he is in for. Right now, I think that the two of them are having a good time, everything is fresh and new. He's trying to be nice to the child, give his girlfriend whatever she wants, etc.

But here is what I also know. For a long time, the ex-boyfriend managed to keep the wheels turning. He was a great daddy, and will be forever by the way. He managed to earn a good living for them. He worked hard to pay off the debts that they had. He stayed home with the baby when he needed to. He tried to be good to his girlfriend and give her whatever amount of time that he could. He is a great friend. The guy doesnt have any time left except to sleep when he's got all of that done.

I think that this new guy has a hell of a rough row to hoe. And I also think that he doesnt have any idea. I hope for the little girl's sake that he is strong enough to keep up.

Communication is key in any relationship. "The legend" (my friend the ex-boyfriend) would have changed his whole world for this woman if he had known that she wanted him to. But the communication wasnt there. Legend would have quit working on the side. He would have limited his time with friends. I believe that if he had been made aware of what she felt she needed, he would have taken whatever steps he needed to take in order to make things better for her.

But its too late now.

My fear is that Legend's ex-girl may someday soon find out how good she really had it, and that it will be way too late to get it back. It is very likely that by the time she does, he will have found somebody else. And that will be her loss when it happens. I also fear that this new guy isnt going to turn out to have enough of a pair to deal with the fact that he just became an instant de-facto husband and father. Im not afraid for him. Im afraid for the toddler, whom i love dearly.

And so it goes... In any relationship, there ought to be one simple rule that we all live by... "I am the least important person here. My needs and desires need to come after the needs and desires of those around me. I need to humble myself to those that I am in relationships with and take my pleasure from filling their needs."

I honestly believe that if we all had this attitude, every relationship in our lives would benefit greatly. It would make you a better friend. A more caring husband. A less egotistical boss. A more willing employee. You can fill in the blanks from there.

Imagine how Legend's situation could have turned out given his attitude adjustment.

From his perspective, maybe he would have simply made a point to adjust his schedule so that he could go grocery shopping or run errands with her.

Maybe she would have taken the time to notice what he was trying to do for them as a family.

Maybe they would have been able to get on the same page about their life goals.

And perhaps, just maybe, it wouldnt have had to end.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish people could just set their own ego's aside and talk about things. This relationship is truly tragic.