I am having a harder time working on this car than the last one. It isn't that i don't want to do the work. It isn't that I don't have the time. Oddly enough, it doesn't have to do with my skill level, which it did at the onset of the last project.
I think that this go round, I simply do not feel the same need for stress relief that I felt at this point in the last project.
Why is it that our accomplishments seem to come during those times that we are stressed?
It would appear that most times that I have done really exceptionally well; I have felt some urgent stressor to get to work.
So tonight I am going to examine this relationship. I think there are really only a few things in life that can motivate us.
Things that we want to accomplish can motivate. We want the next promotion, the next level in our savings account, the next loan paid off, those five fewer strokes off of our golf game. These sorts of stressors are usually self-inflicted, and have to do with whatever it is that we are interested in at the time.
Things that others want can also motivate. Your wife wants the bathroom back during a remodelling project. Your boss wants the sale you are working on to be complete. Your friends want to go out for a beer while you are working on either of the above.
Finally, things that your morals dictate will motivate. You have to stop at the side of the road and help that family with the broken or stuck car. You have to get to church by eight on Sunday. You have to be a patient and loving parent.
So why cant I get to work on this car?
Well, i think it goes like this. I have illustrated before that I likely have enough toys as it is, so the drive to finish the car isnt as great because I already have a Sunday Cruiser. In addition, My other toys need time as well, so that limits the time that I could be spending. This addresses the "things that I want" category.
Nobody that I know really cares when the car is done. For once, this is a project that I am working on for me and me alone. So that stressor also is absent.
Needless to say, there isnt a moral stressor to accomplish this restoration.
Which begs the question, "why am I letting this bother me if there is no stress to finish the job?"
Because it begs the question is the answer. It is clear at this point that I do find the job to be important, just maybe not as important at this time of the year as the other things that are going on.
So what do you do when you want to get something done, but dont want to get it done bad enough to be stressed about it? I think in this case, I am going to have to just make it a priority, whether I feel that I have to do so or not. otherwise the thing is just going to sit in my garage and take up space. And i think that this exact phrase may just be the stressor that I need. It is taking up space in the garage. If I get it done, at least I will be able to play with it.
Im going to go get to work.
Good night.
Greg
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Patience.
Each time that I jot some notes here, I try to make sure that it is a form of discovery for me. Not so much that the writing is a source of discovery, but that the process of communicating the ideas helps me to organize whatever it is that my mind is whirring about with.
Today's thought is patience. It does not seem to make much of a difference what the subject matter is. Whatever your goal is, the end result will be much more satisfactory if you treat it with some patience.
I am living proof of a person's capacity to get a lot of work done in a very short amount of time. My biggest character flaw however, has been a lack of patience. Most people that I know can tell you a story about something that I have been involved with that turned out well, but could have been even better if i had "just spent a little more time."
Patience. I worked on three separate projects today. All three of them turned out very well in my opinion, but could have been just average. Today I had patience. What was the difference from my usual get it done attitude?
Job one: Foose's window tint. I am by no means a window tinting expert. But I've done enough of it in the past to have learned patience the hard way. I would say I managed to pull off a semi-professional quality job on the windows today due to my own capacity for patience. Why? Not my car, and I wanted it to be perfect. It will be close once it cures.
Job two: Mrs. Onslager's Driveway. Our across-the-street neighbor has a gravel drive that was sort of washed out by storm water. My other neighbor, we'll call him the Iowan, we haven't introduced him yet, brought his skid steer home yesterday so that I could gather up some gravel and re-grade the driveway with it. Again, I exercised some patience with the equipment, and the result looks fantastic.
Job three: My own kids. Likely enough said. I tend to find that even when you are frustrated by the fact that your kids have the attention span of a flashbulb, exercising a little patience really will change the frustration to enjoyment of your time with them.
As I set about examining this idea today, I sort of found that it applies to most areas of life. Those people who are most financially stable seem to also be the ones who are most patient in their quest to acquire the things they want to own. Those who are revered as skilled craftsmen are also know for being nit-picky, which is just another word for patient. Those who practice a craft to perfection have exercised the p-word with one particular skill set to the point where us mere mortals may have become bored. Other places for extreme patience; Hunters, Carpenters, Masons, etc.
There do not seem to be areas in life which do not lend themselves well to the idea. I dare you to find a situation in which the quality of the result is not due to exercising the skill either in using or learning the process. Basketball players move very quickly and make very fast decisions. Without patience however, they do not spend the endless hours practicing, running drills, working out, losing games, etc, that get them to the top levels. It takes ALMOST A DECADE of school before you get to call yourself a doctor.
The very idea of continuing to work at something in spite of failure is a perfect example.
I am told, as I recall, that Thomas Edison failed to create a light bulb somewhere around 500 times before he didn't need a candle anymore. You have all used WD40. Ever wonder what it stands for? Water Displacement, 40th try. Patience.
In this day and age, most of us have the good fortune to be able to expect to live a good, healthy, and most importantly, long life. As you look at the things that you are doing, remember to take your time, know that you don't have to get it done right this minute, and most importantly, exercise patience.
In the words of Hootie ( sorry Mr. Rucker, you'll always be Hootie to me.... ) "It wont be like this for long...."
Today's thought is patience. It does not seem to make much of a difference what the subject matter is. Whatever your goal is, the end result will be much more satisfactory if you treat it with some patience.
I am living proof of a person's capacity to get a lot of work done in a very short amount of time. My biggest character flaw however, has been a lack of patience. Most people that I know can tell you a story about something that I have been involved with that turned out well, but could have been even better if i had "just spent a little more time."
Patience. I worked on three separate projects today. All three of them turned out very well in my opinion, but could have been just average. Today I had patience. What was the difference from my usual get it done attitude?
Job one: Foose's window tint. I am by no means a window tinting expert. But I've done enough of it in the past to have learned patience the hard way. I would say I managed to pull off a semi-professional quality job on the windows today due to my own capacity for patience. Why? Not my car, and I wanted it to be perfect. It will be close once it cures.
Job two: Mrs. Onslager's Driveway. Our across-the-street neighbor has a gravel drive that was sort of washed out by storm water. My other neighbor, we'll call him the Iowan, we haven't introduced him yet, brought his skid steer home yesterday so that I could gather up some gravel and re-grade the driveway with it. Again, I exercised some patience with the equipment, and the result looks fantastic.
Job three: My own kids. Likely enough said. I tend to find that even when you are frustrated by the fact that your kids have the attention span of a flashbulb, exercising a little patience really will change the frustration to enjoyment of your time with them.
As I set about examining this idea today, I sort of found that it applies to most areas of life. Those people who are most financially stable seem to also be the ones who are most patient in their quest to acquire the things they want to own. Those who are revered as skilled craftsmen are also know for being nit-picky, which is just another word for patient. Those who practice a craft to perfection have exercised the p-word with one particular skill set to the point where us mere mortals may have become bored. Other places for extreme patience; Hunters, Carpenters, Masons, etc.
There do not seem to be areas in life which do not lend themselves well to the idea. I dare you to find a situation in which the quality of the result is not due to exercising the skill either in using or learning the process. Basketball players move very quickly and make very fast decisions. Without patience however, they do not spend the endless hours practicing, running drills, working out, losing games, etc, that get them to the top levels. It takes ALMOST A DECADE of school before you get to call yourself a doctor.
The very idea of continuing to work at something in spite of failure is a perfect example.
I am told, as I recall, that Thomas Edison failed to create a light bulb somewhere around 500 times before he didn't need a candle anymore. You have all used WD40. Ever wonder what it stands for? Water Displacement, 40th try. Patience.
In this day and age, most of us have the good fortune to be able to expect to live a good, healthy, and most importantly, long life. As you look at the things that you are doing, remember to take your time, know that you don't have to get it done right this minute, and most importantly, exercise patience.
In the words of Hootie ( sorry Mr. Rucker, you'll always be Hootie to me.... ) "It wont be like this for long...."
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Definition of the Sabbath
It has been some time since I have considered the keeping of the sabbath.
I suppose the most common definition of such is the 19th century, dont work, praise god, etc idea of it. I dont think that the idea works out so well in practice in the modern age.
Tonight I tried to come up with a better definition of what a sunday is for. It turns out that the definition is more of a list to me... I believe that the original idea of the sabbath was to focus on those things that are ultimately most important to you. In the early times, when food itself was hard to come by, I suppose that the definition of the sabbath that so easily springs to mind came out of necessity. It wasnt so much showing respect for god as it was hoping and trusting that if this ritual was followed, God himself would provide food and shelter for another week. Rightly so I think.
But in this day and age, although I do believe that my family and I are provided for to a great amount by the gifts we have been endowed with; I dont really think that the original idea of the sabbath is really quite as crucial.
As Ive stated, I think the real idea behind the sabbath, the seventh day if you will, is rest. Relaxation. Some time to be who you really are. Etc.
SO I compiled a list of my favorite things to do on a Sunday. I think that they really do reflect the sabbath ideology for me. I'll examine the commonalities of them after the list. I really do find it quite striking.
1. Take my kids and my friends out in the boat fishing.
2. Grill out with friends and neighbors.
3. Clean up the yard with my boys, be it snow or grass.
4. Watch the packers, live or on tv.
5. Visit my parents or my in-laws.
6. Play with my kids and thier friends.
7. Play with my own friends.
8. Eat too much.
9. Read.
Oddly enough, there are a lot of things intertwined into this list that I think really do reflect the idea of keeping the seventh day. The bible basically gives us the gist of it in genesis. "on the seventh day he rested"
It does not say that on the seventh day he dressed up in his best clothes, went to church at the crack of dawn, and fell on his knees. It says he rested.
Although I do believe that our Lord deserves to be worshipped and honored as often as possible, I also believe that the bible pretty clearly states that the seventh day is to be one of rest.
I think that my list illustrates exactly that sort of rest. I also find every item on it to be in some manner worshipful. Most of the things on it take place outdoors, with other people whom I care about. My list does not include going to the bar or partying with my buddies. Taking a kid fishing, for example, is to me the ultimate thing to do on a sunday. I am spending time with those most important to me, in a way that, I think, glorifies God. I am taking that young life out of the technologically bombarded world that we all live in, and placing him in direct communion with that which has been provided for him. When my son and I are in the boat, I am by and large, the only outside influence in his environment besides the occasional bluegill.
The same goes, in one fashion or another, for the rest of my list.
And so, I ask you to consider the sabbath. I wonder if you will find that your sundays are filled with the things that reflect a day of rest and enjoyment of what god has provided for you. Are you spending that day off with those people who matter most, who you can enjoy, who help you to relax, or are you spending it wrapped up in the world?
I believe that the original idea behind the seventh day was to regroup, to be appreciative of what has been done, and to be thankful for it. For some, that means a church service, for others it means some " quality time" with whomever it is that is most important to you on this planet.
In short, Glorifying God can sometimes be as simple as enjoying what he has given you.
In Jesus Name...
Greg
I suppose the most common definition of such is the 19th century, dont work, praise god, etc idea of it. I dont think that the idea works out so well in practice in the modern age.
Tonight I tried to come up with a better definition of what a sunday is for. It turns out that the definition is more of a list to me... I believe that the original idea of the sabbath was to focus on those things that are ultimately most important to you. In the early times, when food itself was hard to come by, I suppose that the definition of the sabbath that so easily springs to mind came out of necessity. It wasnt so much showing respect for god as it was hoping and trusting that if this ritual was followed, God himself would provide food and shelter for another week. Rightly so I think.
But in this day and age, although I do believe that my family and I are provided for to a great amount by the gifts we have been endowed with; I dont really think that the original idea of the sabbath is really quite as crucial.
As Ive stated, I think the real idea behind the sabbath, the seventh day if you will, is rest. Relaxation. Some time to be who you really are. Etc.
SO I compiled a list of my favorite things to do on a Sunday. I think that they really do reflect the sabbath ideology for me. I'll examine the commonalities of them after the list. I really do find it quite striking.
1. Take my kids and my friends out in the boat fishing.
2. Grill out with friends and neighbors.
3. Clean up the yard with my boys, be it snow or grass.
4. Watch the packers, live or on tv.
5. Visit my parents or my in-laws.
6. Play with my kids and thier friends.
7. Play with my own friends.
8. Eat too much.
9. Read.
Oddly enough, there are a lot of things intertwined into this list that I think really do reflect the idea of keeping the seventh day. The bible basically gives us the gist of it in genesis. "on the seventh day he rested"
It does not say that on the seventh day he dressed up in his best clothes, went to church at the crack of dawn, and fell on his knees. It says he rested.
Although I do believe that our Lord deserves to be worshipped and honored as often as possible, I also believe that the bible pretty clearly states that the seventh day is to be one of rest.
I think that my list illustrates exactly that sort of rest. I also find every item on it to be in some manner worshipful. Most of the things on it take place outdoors, with other people whom I care about. My list does not include going to the bar or partying with my buddies. Taking a kid fishing, for example, is to me the ultimate thing to do on a sunday. I am spending time with those most important to me, in a way that, I think, glorifies God. I am taking that young life out of the technologically bombarded world that we all live in, and placing him in direct communion with that which has been provided for him. When my son and I are in the boat, I am by and large, the only outside influence in his environment besides the occasional bluegill.
The same goes, in one fashion or another, for the rest of my list.
And so, I ask you to consider the sabbath. I wonder if you will find that your sundays are filled with the things that reflect a day of rest and enjoyment of what god has provided for you. Are you spending that day off with those people who matter most, who you can enjoy, who help you to relax, or are you spending it wrapped up in the world?
I believe that the original idea behind the seventh day was to regroup, to be appreciative of what has been done, and to be thankful for it. For some, that means a church service, for others it means some " quality time" with whomever it is that is most important to you on this planet.
In short, Glorifying God can sometimes be as simple as enjoying what he has given you.
In Jesus Name...
Greg
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Missing Children
First things first. I did not know the little girl we we searching for. I dont know her family. And I was only one of probably 200 or more people walking the fields and forests this afternoon. None of us were particularly special for being there.
Foose and I spent the afternoon today clearing trails on his property for the atv's. It wasn't very hard work, and of course we had to ride them for quite a while afterwords. Then, after my kids were done with naptime, Babe brought tank and turtle out, and we had to ride some more. It was a fun day... When the riding was done, we all ate dinner, and relaxed for a while.
During the course of dinner, we had heard some sirens and what not going past the house, didnt make much of it. Foose's mom called, informed us that a three year old girl was missing about a half mile away, and that the ems team was asking for help locating her. Since Babe was taking the kids home to go to bed, Foose and I set out across the fields on the quads to see if we could help.
We met with the person in charge of the scene, He assigned us to the group led oddly enough, by the apprentii.
Lesson one for today. Apprentii is my younger buddy. We met when he was about 16, and have spent many many hours together since. I'll get into that on another post. Suffice it to say that I had no idea how together the kid is until tonight. The guy is i think 22 now. He led a group of four firemen and probably 16 of us civilians on a search mission through fields and woods and swamps. He kept track of all of us, made sure nobody got lost, and that we were all going the right way. Kudos. And by the way, nobody had any question who was in charge.
Lesson two. I have not been this scared in a while. The whole time we were searching, I kept imagining tank. This little girl must be about his size. SO the two thoughts in my head were 1. I cant imagine if we were all out here looking for him, and 2. Where would he go if it was him. It was both heart wrenching and eye opening at the same time. At one point, I found myself walking along the edge of the woods and as I thought about where would tank go, I found myself looking under things, behind trees, imagining places that he would hide if he was alone and scared. I think that I learned a lot about my child this afternoon.
Lesson Three. We live in a very nice little area here. This little girl ( who is reportedly ok by the way) lives on a road that is i think about 2 miles long. By the time the search was over, that two mile stretch was literally parked full of cars. It looked like game day at lambeau. I would guess that there were at least 40 atv's either on trailers or on the sides of the road. Everybody that heard the call for help came out. It speaks volumes about the humanity of rural people.
Just a sidenote; Because of our rural environment, there was never a discussion of the possibility that this little girl was kidnapped or anything else; the tone in general was to question where she wandered off to. I love my neighborhood.
I hope that this was a once in a lifetime afternoon for me. I hope that I never have to help look for another missing child. Not that I am not willing to help, just that I hope no more go missing.
But unfortunately, it happens every day in one place or another.
I used to think that the parents who were "over protective" of their kids had it all wrong. You have seen these people. They are the ones at any given public outdoor event who have the toddlers on a leash. I always thought that if you were any kind of parent at all, you would know where your child was at any second, that the kid wouldnt be able to leave your sight, much less need the leash to keep him in check. Tonight, although i wont likely go buy the leashes, I found myself reflecting on how many times my kids are not supervised. When Ive got to just run in at the gas station, or when they are playing outside and I have to be in the house for a minute. Any parent can name a hundred examples of times that they have done these things. "I just left him for a second..."
By the way, it is a necessity of life. Sometimes you just have to pee. Or answer the phone. Or get something to eat. ( or even take a sanity break) It doesnt make you a bad parent.
There are two things that I imagine this experience has made me realize.
I dont think every parent CAN really supervise their kids every second of every day. Kids do go missing. Kids do get hurt and worse while the parents back is turned for that split second. There are sometimes horrible consequences. Facts are facts. It doesnt make them bad parents. Just like a car accident, sometimes things happen so fast, there isnt time to react even if you hadnt just run quick in the house.
I also dont think that parents SHOULD supervise their kids every minute once they reach a certain point. Some of the strongest memories that I have, some of the most formative ones for who I am today, happened in situations where, if my parents had been watching, they would have kicked my ass or worse. I am certain that you agree that an awful lot of who you are today has to do with your own independence, your own ability to make decisions. I very seldom worry about what turtle is doing at any given time, but yet, kids his age wander off all the time too.
And how do we learn to make decisions? You guessed it; usually by making the wrong ones first.
Our parents, like any good role models, had they been present, would have tried to prevent those mistakes. An illustration of this happened this afternoon. I was riding the new trails with turtle, and I kept stopping him, explaining how to take this curve, and that rut, and how to properly apex this corner, and what to do in this hill. He looked at me and asked one of the most astute questions of his young life. "Dad, Cant you just be quiet and let me ride?"
This seems to be one of the most central points of parenting. It is very hard for us to let go. All I want to do is wrap my boys in a big soft blanket and keep them safe until one of us dies of old age. But I cant do that. The most responsible thing for me to do is give them some space. To guide them where I can, and let them figure out the rest. Like the turtle just wanting to ride the trail, I cant over teach him. At some point, I have to trust that I have shown him at least how not to get hurt too badly, and that he knows enough from there to handle the situation. Today he took a wrong turn, and found himself lost. I interpreted his reaction to sit still and wait for me to find him ( i knew where he was) as evidence that he had been listening somewhere when they told him what to do if he ever got lost.
Think of all the things that your kids do that are hard for you to watch. The first time they ride a two wheeler. The first time you have to leave them in somebody else's care. The first day of school. Swimming lessons. Swimming in general. You get the idea. But if you dont let them try, how are they ever going to succeed? If I wrapped my boys up in fleece; They would surely live to adulthood unscathed, but how much damage to them will I have caused?
Back to the point. I dont know how this little girl wandered away from home today, but I do know that she is safe tonight. I just hope that my own willingness to allow my children freedom never requires the good hearted batch of folks that I saw today to straighten out.
Thank god for happy endings,
Greg
Foose and I spent the afternoon today clearing trails on his property for the atv's. It wasn't very hard work, and of course we had to ride them for quite a while afterwords. Then, after my kids were done with naptime, Babe brought tank and turtle out, and we had to ride some more. It was a fun day... When the riding was done, we all ate dinner, and relaxed for a while.
During the course of dinner, we had heard some sirens and what not going past the house, didnt make much of it. Foose's mom called, informed us that a three year old girl was missing about a half mile away, and that the ems team was asking for help locating her. Since Babe was taking the kids home to go to bed, Foose and I set out across the fields on the quads to see if we could help.
We met with the person in charge of the scene, He assigned us to the group led oddly enough, by the apprentii.
Lesson one for today. Apprentii is my younger buddy. We met when he was about 16, and have spent many many hours together since. I'll get into that on another post. Suffice it to say that I had no idea how together the kid is until tonight. The guy is i think 22 now. He led a group of four firemen and probably 16 of us civilians on a search mission through fields and woods and swamps. He kept track of all of us, made sure nobody got lost, and that we were all going the right way. Kudos. And by the way, nobody had any question who was in charge.
Lesson two. I have not been this scared in a while. The whole time we were searching, I kept imagining tank. This little girl must be about his size. SO the two thoughts in my head were 1. I cant imagine if we were all out here looking for him, and 2. Where would he go if it was him. It was both heart wrenching and eye opening at the same time. At one point, I found myself walking along the edge of the woods and as I thought about where would tank go, I found myself looking under things, behind trees, imagining places that he would hide if he was alone and scared. I think that I learned a lot about my child this afternoon.
Lesson Three. We live in a very nice little area here. This little girl ( who is reportedly ok by the way) lives on a road that is i think about 2 miles long. By the time the search was over, that two mile stretch was literally parked full of cars. It looked like game day at lambeau. I would guess that there were at least 40 atv's either on trailers or on the sides of the road. Everybody that heard the call for help came out. It speaks volumes about the humanity of rural people.
Just a sidenote; Because of our rural environment, there was never a discussion of the possibility that this little girl was kidnapped or anything else; the tone in general was to question where she wandered off to. I love my neighborhood.
I hope that this was a once in a lifetime afternoon for me. I hope that I never have to help look for another missing child. Not that I am not willing to help, just that I hope no more go missing.
But unfortunately, it happens every day in one place or another.
I used to think that the parents who were "over protective" of their kids had it all wrong. You have seen these people. They are the ones at any given public outdoor event who have the toddlers on a leash. I always thought that if you were any kind of parent at all, you would know where your child was at any second, that the kid wouldnt be able to leave your sight, much less need the leash to keep him in check. Tonight, although i wont likely go buy the leashes, I found myself reflecting on how many times my kids are not supervised. When Ive got to just run in at the gas station, or when they are playing outside and I have to be in the house for a minute. Any parent can name a hundred examples of times that they have done these things. "I just left him for a second..."
By the way, it is a necessity of life. Sometimes you just have to pee. Or answer the phone. Or get something to eat. ( or even take a sanity break) It doesnt make you a bad parent.
There are two things that I imagine this experience has made me realize.
I dont think every parent CAN really supervise their kids every second of every day. Kids do go missing. Kids do get hurt and worse while the parents back is turned for that split second. There are sometimes horrible consequences. Facts are facts. It doesnt make them bad parents. Just like a car accident, sometimes things happen so fast, there isnt time to react even if you hadnt just run quick in the house.
I also dont think that parents SHOULD supervise their kids every minute once they reach a certain point. Some of the strongest memories that I have, some of the most formative ones for who I am today, happened in situations where, if my parents had been watching, they would have kicked my ass or worse. I am certain that you agree that an awful lot of who you are today has to do with your own independence, your own ability to make decisions. I very seldom worry about what turtle is doing at any given time, but yet, kids his age wander off all the time too.
And how do we learn to make decisions? You guessed it; usually by making the wrong ones first.
Our parents, like any good role models, had they been present, would have tried to prevent those mistakes. An illustration of this happened this afternoon. I was riding the new trails with turtle, and I kept stopping him, explaining how to take this curve, and that rut, and how to properly apex this corner, and what to do in this hill. He looked at me and asked one of the most astute questions of his young life. "Dad, Cant you just be quiet and let me ride?"
This seems to be one of the most central points of parenting. It is very hard for us to let go. All I want to do is wrap my boys in a big soft blanket and keep them safe until one of us dies of old age. But I cant do that. The most responsible thing for me to do is give them some space. To guide them where I can, and let them figure out the rest. Like the turtle just wanting to ride the trail, I cant over teach him. At some point, I have to trust that I have shown him at least how not to get hurt too badly, and that he knows enough from there to handle the situation. Today he took a wrong turn, and found himself lost. I interpreted his reaction to sit still and wait for me to find him ( i knew where he was) as evidence that he had been listening somewhere when they told him what to do if he ever got lost.
Think of all the things that your kids do that are hard for you to watch. The first time they ride a two wheeler. The first time you have to leave them in somebody else's care. The first day of school. Swimming lessons. Swimming in general. You get the idea. But if you dont let them try, how are they ever going to succeed? If I wrapped my boys up in fleece; They would surely live to adulthood unscathed, but how much damage to them will I have caused?
Back to the point. I dont know how this little girl wandered away from home today, but I do know that she is safe tonight. I just hope that my own willingness to allow my children freedom never requires the good hearted batch of folks that I saw today to straighten out.
Thank god for happy endings,
Greg
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Where your interests lie.
What is it that really motivates you? Have you ever stopped to think about what it is that really gets your attention? What are you passionate about? What one thing in your life could you absolutely not give up?
If you're like me, you aren't sure either. You're sitting there, reading this, with sort of a blank look on your face. I suspect the truth of the matter is that very few of us really know the answer to the question.
Further, we tend to resent those around us who do know the answer.
We have all different names for those people don't we? Most of them end in "holic" Somebody who is really passionate about whatever it is that they do for a living, is a workaholic. You get the idea. The oddball part about the fact is that most of the time, when you are some sort of a holic, you put that particular prefix ahead of everything else in your life. Why? Because it is the thing in your life that makes everything ok, gives you personal value, builds your ego, etc.
But at the core of the behavior is motivation.
I believe that there are only a few personality types. All of our motivators bend to our ego, but do so in different fashions. My makeshift list of motivators is as follows. If my list is good, you should be able to pretty much categorize most of the people you know, with the exception that I also suspect most people share two of these categories in one fashion or another, as if they are a combination of the two types. The stuff I'm about to run through is my best recollection, or maybe interpretation, of some things that we went through at a seminar i attended a while back, just that you don't think that it is my own original idea completely. I have extrapolated it some however.
1. There are people who are motivated by being in control. These folks find the greatest satisfaction in being the expert, the boss, the answer man, and so on. The ones in this group will never admit fault. They will generally be pretty authoritarian, in other words, they tell you how it should be done, not ask you. Their best days are when they get to be "in charge" of all of their surroundings. These people are usually very financially savvy, but don't like eBay auctions, because the final price is not something they can negotiate, only something they can say yes or no to. They are very self-actualized, and believe that their way is right no matter what.
2. There are some folks who are set off by pleasing others. These guys get their kicks by helping people, or by praise from others. These are the people who own things not because they like them but because others do. These people tend to be peer driven. They do whatever they can to earn the admiration of others. The best day for this person is when the boss told them they did a nice job, the lady at the bank liked their car, and the old guy at the store said thank you for opening the door for him.
3. Some of the people I have met are motivated by comfort. This group is maybe the coolest one in my humble opinion. This is the guy you know who will find the number one easiest, least time consuming, lowest energy way to accomplish something possible. These people don't want to do anything more than they have to. They might even look lazy. They never seem to work very hard, yet they seem to get more done than the rest does. They don't want to put themselves out there in the public eye, because the idea of other people judging them is not comfortable. They will tend to be quiet and reserved. You will never know what they are thinking, because they don't want your feedback.
4. Still yet, there are the perfectionists. These people are never satisfied. They will exhaust you with details. Their motivation is supplied by the idea that anything can be improved. They can do a better job with the Christmas lights, the dinner, the music choice, on and on and on and on. These guys have the best day when they have spent it practicing whatever craft to the point that they don't believe it can be done to any higher standard, and then finding a way to do so.
5. One more group of folks out their I would call the defined. These people are the ones who love to have set rules and ways of doing things. They will seem almost obsessive compulsive. If the dollar bills in the till are supposed to point to the west, don't point them to the east or else. If the steps in some process go a b c d e f , don't try to get the d in front of the b. This is the way it is done and there are no exceptions. There will be a place for everything, and everything will be in its place.
6. Finally, I believe that there is a group out there that I would call the encyclopedias. This is the guy who knows every brewers game score and stat for the last 34 years. Or can tell you which fishing lure will work in what depth of water, according to the pH and the length of the small-mouth bass you are trying to catch. or the guy who knows both. These folks get off on specific details about everything that they encounter. History teachers, for example, who can tell you all those goofy tidbits about some battle. Or maybe they can tell you the year, artist and albums sold for any song in the jukebox. Possibly an engineer who can sort out the tensile strength of an I-beam based on its material makeup and dimensions. These folks study, and memorize, and recite. It might be one small genre, or many. These folks will dot every i and cross every t every time, and be able to tell you every detail. Accountant-types are great encyclopedias.
But back to the holic's. Take a look around you, pick out a few people. find out what their vices are. Then look at these motivators and see if you understand them better. It really gets to be fun.
My boss ( we'll call him "the man" here) is a work"aholic" I don't think that he spends a lot of waking hours thinking about much other than the company that he runs. To put things in perspective, he should not be too concerned for the company itself from a financially stable perspective, either for his own finances or the business. ( he is a multi-millionaire at this point I am sure) He isn't a workaholic because the place cant run without him or because he needs the money.
The Man is a workaholic because it is what motivates him. He is in my estimation, a Control-Pleaser. He loves to be in charge of every situation. He loves to be right. He loves to know what to do. He loves to "get the job done" control.
But at the same time, He is also motivated by taking care of his employees ( i suspect that in his mind he provides a living for all of our families by employing us, but we'll get to that thought of earning a living some other time) He is motivated by meeting his customers, seeing the happy looks on their faces at a purchase. I think his favorite thing to do is pass out the profit sharing checks each year, because he feels as though he has made his dedicated people's lives a little better, and rightly so.
So he is a control-pleaser.
The thing, the point of interest if you will, is that each person who makes this classification will undoubtedly find value in the motivators that most reflect themselves, and at the same time will try not to classify themselves with "those people" who do not match up to their own interests.
For instance, I believe that I am a Pleaser-Encyclopedia. I love to do favors for people. I love to help folks in need, I get a lot of satisfaction from spending time with my family, and being daddy to my kids. This is the pleaser side. But I also want to know everything about everything. I have yet to find a craft that I don't want to master. I have not found a book that I don't feel like reading. I watch everything I can find to learn from, spanning the history channel to nitro circus. I not only want to know how to build the motorcycle from scratch, but how to wheelie it as well. encyclopedia.
In my self-evaluation, I don't want to be a control. And I definitely don't want to be a defined. When I look at those two definitions, I see things that grate on me. I see things that although I may admire, I find no interest in emulating whatsoever. I don't want to be one of those particular "holics."
So in closing, Try and sort yourself into this, what kind of holic are you? What gets you out of bed in the morning, what are you passionate about? You might be surprised how hard it is to define.
Learning more every day....
Greg
If you're like me, you aren't sure either. You're sitting there, reading this, with sort of a blank look on your face. I suspect the truth of the matter is that very few of us really know the answer to the question.
Further, we tend to resent those around us who do know the answer.
We have all different names for those people don't we? Most of them end in "holic" Somebody who is really passionate about whatever it is that they do for a living, is a workaholic. You get the idea. The oddball part about the fact is that most of the time, when you are some sort of a holic, you put that particular prefix ahead of everything else in your life. Why? Because it is the thing in your life that makes everything ok, gives you personal value, builds your ego, etc.
But at the core of the behavior is motivation.
I believe that there are only a few personality types. All of our motivators bend to our ego, but do so in different fashions. My makeshift list of motivators is as follows. If my list is good, you should be able to pretty much categorize most of the people you know, with the exception that I also suspect most people share two of these categories in one fashion or another, as if they are a combination of the two types. The stuff I'm about to run through is my best recollection, or maybe interpretation, of some things that we went through at a seminar i attended a while back, just that you don't think that it is my own original idea completely. I have extrapolated it some however.
1. There are people who are motivated by being in control. These folks find the greatest satisfaction in being the expert, the boss, the answer man, and so on. The ones in this group will never admit fault. They will generally be pretty authoritarian, in other words, they tell you how it should be done, not ask you. Their best days are when they get to be "in charge" of all of their surroundings. These people are usually very financially savvy, but don't like eBay auctions, because the final price is not something they can negotiate, only something they can say yes or no to. They are very self-actualized, and believe that their way is right no matter what.
2. There are some folks who are set off by pleasing others. These guys get their kicks by helping people, or by praise from others. These are the people who own things not because they like them but because others do. These people tend to be peer driven. They do whatever they can to earn the admiration of others. The best day for this person is when the boss told them they did a nice job, the lady at the bank liked their car, and the old guy at the store said thank you for opening the door for him.
3. Some of the people I have met are motivated by comfort. This group is maybe the coolest one in my humble opinion. This is the guy you know who will find the number one easiest, least time consuming, lowest energy way to accomplish something possible. These people don't want to do anything more than they have to. They might even look lazy. They never seem to work very hard, yet they seem to get more done than the rest does. They don't want to put themselves out there in the public eye, because the idea of other people judging them is not comfortable. They will tend to be quiet and reserved. You will never know what they are thinking, because they don't want your feedback.
4. Still yet, there are the perfectionists. These people are never satisfied. They will exhaust you with details. Their motivation is supplied by the idea that anything can be improved. They can do a better job with the Christmas lights, the dinner, the music choice, on and on and on and on. These guys have the best day when they have spent it practicing whatever craft to the point that they don't believe it can be done to any higher standard, and then finding a way to do so.
5. One more group of folks out their I would call the defined. These people are the ones who love to have set rules and ways of doing things. They will seem almost obsessive compulsive. If the dollar bills in the till are supposed to point to the west, don't point them to the east or else. If the steps in some process go a b c d e f , don't try to get the d in front of the b. This is the way it is done and there are no exceptions. There will be a place for everything, and everything will be in its place.
6. Finally, I believe that there is a group out there that I would call the encyclopedias. This is the guy who knows every brewers game score and stat for the last 34 years. Or can tell you which fishing lure will work in what depth of water, according to the pH and the length of the small-mouth bass you are trying to catch. or the guy who knows both. These folks get off on specific details about everything that they encounter. History teachers, for example, who can tell you all those goofy tidbits about some battle. Or maybe they can tell you the year, artist and albums sold for any song in the jukebox. Possibly an engineer who can sort out the tensile strength of an I-beam based on its material makeup and dimensions. These folks study, and memorize, and recite. It might be one small genre, or many. These folks will dot every i and cross every t every time, and be able to tell you every detail. Accountant-types are great encyclopedias.
But back to the holic's. Take a look around you, pick out a few people. find out what their vices are. Then look at these motivators and see if you understand them better. It really gets to be fun.
My boss ( we'll call him "the man" here) is a work"aholic" I don't think that he spends a lot of waking hours thinking about much other than the company that he runs. To put things in perspective, he should not be too concerned for the company itself from a financially stable perspective, either for his own finances or the business. ( he is a multi-millionaire at this point I am sure) He isn't a workaholic because the place cant run without him or because he needs the money.
The Man is a workaholic because it is what motivates him. He is in my estimation, a Control-Pleaser. He loves to be in charge of every situation. He loves to be right. He loves to know what to do. He loves to "get the job done" control.
But at the same time, He is also motivated by taking care of his employees ( i suspect that in his mind he provides a living for all of our families by employing us, but we'll get to that thought of earning a living some other time) He is motivated by meeting his customers, seeing the happy looks on their faces at a purchase. I think his favorite thing to do is pass out the profit sharing checks each year, because he feels as though he has made his dedicated people's lives a little better, and rightly so.
So he is a control-pleaser.
The thing, the point of interest if you will, is that each person who makes this classification will undoubtedly find value in the motivators that most reflect themselves, and at the same time will try not to classify themselves with "those people" who do not match up to their own interests.
For instance, I believe that I am a Pleaser-Encyclopedia. I love to do favors for people. I love to help folks in need, I get a lot of satisfaction from spending time with my family, and being daddy to my kids. This is the pleaser side. But I also want to know everything about everything. I have yet to find a craft that I don't want to master. I have not found a book that I don't feel like reading. I watch everything I can find to learn from, spanning the history channel to nitro circus. I not only want to know how to build the motorcycle from scratch, but how to wheelie it as well. encyclopedia.
In my self-evaluation, I don't want to be a control. And I definitely don't want to be a defined. When I look at those two definitions, I see things that grate on me. I see things that although I may admire, I find no interest in emulating whatsoever. I don't want to be one of those particular "holics."
So in closing, Try and sort yourself into this, what kind of holic are you? What gets you out of bed in the morning, what are you passionate about? You might be surprised how hard it is to define.
Learning more every day....
Greg
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friends
I spent today with my friends.
I am fortunate to have as many friends as i do. There are very few people who can say that they could rally eight or ten people who would show up at a moments notice to help out if they had to.
I am one of the fortunate few.
But here is why. Regardless of the fact that I have wayyyyyyyyy too many things going on in my own life, in my own garage, and in my own home to have any spare time; I spent the better part of today, and last week saturday, and the sunday before that, elbow deep in someone else's project.
Today it was "Foose's" firebird.
Foose in my best friend, or one of them, i'm lucky to have to define that. He is a body man by trade, and I think, would like to run hot rod shop rather than a body shop. In any case, today I changed the springs in his project car. He wanted it lower.
I learned a little about fooses life today.
Bear in mind. Foose makes his living working on cars for other people. He cant afford to do it for free, and he does have a family to support. So he works like 60 hours a week to keep things running.
But today, a couple guys he knows brought in a race car. Racing in our area is not a high budget operation.. If you want to race, you basically go get a junkyard car, make it run, and weld in a roll cage. But it has to look nice. This is the part where foose gets involved.
Since he is a local businessman, I would imagine that foose gets a lot of sponsorship requests. I have no idea how many he actually takes up, but I don't think its a whole big bunch. I think you probably have to be a pretty good guy to get him to sponsor a race car. Because in our part of the world we take things in trade.
If foose sponsors your race car, guess who's going to paint it. good guess.
If you've ever painted a car, even a low buck race car, You're starting to get the drift of where i'm going with this tonight. It's a ROYAL pain in the ass. Especially a race car. Nothing is prepped properly, nothing is sanded well enough, and foose is a perfectionist.
SO, in between working on my own project on his car today, I watched him do his damnedest to make this old rusty, dented, and not prepped well enough car look good.
I was amazed how well it turned out. Which speaks volumes for foose.
The nuts and bolts of tonight's thought is thus. Good friends, and good people, are hard to come by... If you find one, make sure that you do all you can to take care of them any way possible. They will do the same for you.
Till next time,
Greg
I am fortunate to have as many friends as i do. There are very few people who can say that they could rally eight or ten people who would show up at a moments notice to help out if they had to.
I am one of the fortunate few.
But here is why. Regardless of the fact that I have wayyyyyyyyy too many things going on in my own life, in my own garage, and in my own home to have any spare time; I spent the better part of today, and last week saturday, and the sunday before that, elbow deep in someone else's project.
Today it was "Foose's" firebird.
Foose in my best friend, or one of them, i'm lucky to have to define that. He is a body man by trade, and I think, would like to run hot rod shop rather than a body shop. In any case, today I changed the springs in his project car. He wanted it lower.
I learned a little about fooses life today.
Bear in mind. Foose makes his living working on cars for other people. He cant afford to do it for free, and he does have a family to support. So he works like 60 hours a week to keep things running.
But today, a couple guys he knows brought in a race car. Racing in our area is not a high budget operation.. If you want to race, you basically go get a junkyard car, make it run, and weld in a roll cage. But it has to look nice. This is the part where foose gets involved.
Since he is a local businessman, I would imagine that foose gets a lot of sponsorship requests. I have no idea how many he actually takes up, but I don't think its a whole big bunch. I think you probably have to be a pretty good guy to get him to sponsor a race car. Because in our part of the world we take things in trade.
If foose sponsors your race car, guess who's going to paint it. good guess.
If you've ever painted a car, even a low buck race car, You're starting to get the drift of where i'm going with this tonight. It's a ROYAL pain in the ass. Especially a race car. Nothing is prepped properly, nothing is sanded well enough, and foose is a perfectionist.
SO, in between working on my own project on his car today, I watched him do his damnedest to make this old rusty, dented, and not prepped well enough car look good.
I was amazed how well it turned out. Which speaks volumes for foose.
The nuts and bolts of tonight's thought is thus. Good friends, and good people, are hard to come by... If you find one, make sure that you do all you can to take care of them any way possible. They will do the same for you.
Till next time,
Greg
Monday, April 20, 2009
Motivation and social status.
What drives us to own the things that we do? The clothes that we wear? The house that we live in? The car we drive?
I met somebody today, a customer; I suspect that he owns one of my trucks based solely on the comments that he receives for owning it. This is not an original idea. At some point, all of us have encountered this sort of mentality. We have all purchased something, large or small, merely to impress somebody. It is part of being a social being.
Things, your "stuff" if you will, are generally acquired for a purpose. Sometimes its for the utility of the thing, sometimes for some level of pleasure that it grants.
Utility is a fairly easy one to define. The thing has a purpose. A screwdriver is for turning screws. A fork is for eating. A lawn mower is for, yup, you guessed it. This is the essence of utility.
Pleasure is a whole different thing altogether. It is the idea which greys the line between a thing being a utility need and a pleasure center. I would much rather mow the lawn with a riding mower, or go fishing in a power boat than row. I would much rather drive a nice sport utility with leather and a cd player than a rusted out car. There is a certain amount of pleasure in each of those things.
But to the point that I started out to make; It seems as though one of the greatest pleasure sources that any of our stuff provides is the implied social status that we gain by owning that stuff. It is, I think, one of the largest motivators that our society values. How do I stack up against my neighbor, my friend, even people that I dont know?
I'm by no means passing judgement on this thought process. I do it as much as anybody.
That said, I walked outside to the barn last night and looked around at my stuff. The question that I found myself asking was "Do I own this for pure utility?" Turns out, I have very little stuff that fall into that category. Most of my things are some mix of utility and pleasure.
The next thing that I tried to do was to categorize. This was harder. At what point does a thing become something that is completely owned for pleasure? I decided to categorize things based on proximity to either end of the scale. At one end of the scale is pure utility, the other end holds purely pleasure. Oddly enough, the nature of the pleasure derived from stuff has its own spectrum all together, making this a chart rather than a line.
SO I drew the graph. The vertical axis ran from self-actualized pleasure up to socially actualized. The horizontal axis ran from complete utility out to no utility. I made an x as i inventoried some of my stuff in the hopes of finding some sort of trend. Again, the exercise was to find out where my own mind stands with regard to my stuff.
Rating things along the utility/pleasure scale was relatively easy. the only question to answer was where the thing rated along the line. Is this thing more useful or more pleasurable?
Rating things on the other spectrum was more difficult. Once I decided that my lawn mower was mostly for utility purposes, it seemed that it was also purchased for my self. Except I found that I had to move it up the scale a bit from self-actualized, because I actually do enjoy the few times that someone I know comments that it is a nice mower.
And here's what I learned through this process.
Although I usually try to rationalize my purchases as being self-actualized, and utility based, it turns out that I do own more stuff than I thought that edges up the line towards being socially actualized. I never realized before this that an awful lot of my clothes are in my closet only because I need to look good for work (because it is important what people think of your attire)
I still tended towards the self/utility end of the spectrum, but it was surprising to me how often I found myself at the opposite end...
I discovered through this process that the utility/pleasure axis is easy to define. My tools are a great example. We own tools to do work. But some of the tools that I own also happen to involve a process that I really enjoy. This is the reason I spend so much time in the garage.
The self/others axis also works in this example. I dont think that I own many tools that I would really feel compelled to show off to somebody. If I purchase a better, or fancier tool, generally it is because it does a better job than some other alternative, and that I will have a better time using it. This axis also has its pitfalls however. For instance, I have a really nice welder. I knew when I bought the thing that people I know would recognize it as a high-end piece. I also have to admit that this recognition is part of the reason I didnt buy a cheaper one.
I think that this has been a valuable exercise.
At the end of the day, it would seem as though the folks who find themselves charted to the self end of the graph are more satisfied with the things that they have than those who rest on the social end of it. I know that one of my greatest stressors is the times that I dont feel as though I stack up to those around me, whether it is stuff or ability at something. But I also know that I dont often find myself making those comparisons.
It would seem to me that if a person has stuff only for the purpose of impressing, it would be difficult to cope unless you were constantly getting more stuff. Once someone has seen that new thing, you arent going to get the same pleasure again from it unless you go get another thing. The show car world is a wonderful example of this. Think of some of the displays that these guys have got to show off their cars... But again, the social actualization can be very very pleasurable. It builds the ego. That is very powerful. People will put themselves in the poor house to get it.
Agrarians do things the other way. Their ego is very self-actualized. I tend to find myself most happy when I've been able to accomplish some new goal. If I have repaired a car, installed a new garbage disposal, remodelled some part of the house, these are the times when I feel the most valuable. Normally it is not something that anybody else notices out loud. I dont normally feel any real sense of comparison from it. I simply feel good about what I was able to do. That feeling, or the pursuit of it, has led to many long nights and sore backs. All worth it in the end. This feeling can be achieved in many ways, everyone has their own, for some its mastery of some sport, a new low score in golf, or as mentioned before, completion of a show car.
The long and the short of it is that I really feel more of a knowledge of self from this exercise. It has left me with a better understanding of wants versus needs, as well as what it is that motivates me personally.
I suspect that we all have the ideal of thinking that we are motivated more by ourselves than by what others may think. I also suspect that we may be surprised to find out how often in our lives it is the other way around... Again, its what makes us social beings. I would think that some of those people who rate as our best friends are the same ones who purvey a legitimate interest in our lives. It drives the social actualized nature of our beings.
Tell somebody that they've impressed you. You'll make their day.
---lifelong learner
I met somebody today, a customer; I suspect that he owns one of my trucks based solely on the comments that he receives for owning it. This is not an original idea. At some point, all of us have encountered this sort of mentality. We have all purchased something, large or small, merely to impress somebody. It is part of being a social being.
Things, your "stuff" if you will, are generally acquired for a purpose. Sometimes its for the utility of the thing, sometimes for some level of pleasure that it grants.
Utility is a fairly easy one to define. The thing has a purpose. A screwdriver is for turning screws. A fork is for eating. A lawn mower is for, yup, you guessed it. This is the essence of utility.
Pleasure is a whole different thing altogether. It is the idea which greys the line between a thing being a utility need and a pleasure center. I would much rather mow the lawn with a riding mower, or go fishing in a power boat than row. I would much rather drive a nice sport utility with leather and a cd player than a rusted out car. There is a certain amount of pleasure in each of those things.
But to the point that I started out to make; It seems as though one of the greatest pleasure sources that any of our stuff provides is the implied social status that we gain by owning that stuff. It is, I think, one of the largest motivators that our society values. How do I stack up against my neighbor, my friend, even people that I dont know?
I'm by no means passing judgement on this thought process. I do it as much as anybody.
That said, I walked outside to the barn last night and looked around at my stuff. The question that I found myself asking was "Do I own this for pure utility?" Turns out, I have very little stuff that fall into that category. Most of my things are some mix of utility and pleasure.
The next thing that I tried to do was to categorize. This was harder. At what point does a thing become something that is completely owned for pleasure? I decided to categorize things based on proximity to either end of the scale. At one end of the scale is pure utility, the other end holds purely pleasure. Oddly enough, the nature of the pleasure derived from stuff has its own spectrum all together, making this a chart rather than a line.
SO I drew the graph. The vertical axis ran from self-actualized pleasure up to socially actualized. The horizontal axis ran from complete utility out to no utility. I made an x as i inventoried some of my stuff in the hopes of finding some sort of trend. Again, the exercise was to find out where my own mind stands with regard to my stuff.
Rating things along the utility/pleasure scale was relatively easy. the only question to answer was where the thing rated along the line. Is this thing more useful or more pleasurable?
Rating things on the other spectrum was more difficult. Once I decided that my lawn mower was mostly for utility purposes, it seemed that it was also purchased for my self. Except I found that I had to move it up the scale a bit from self-actualized, because I actually do enjoy the few times that someone I know comments that it is a nice mower.
And here's what I learned through this process.
Although I usually try to rationalize my purchases as being self-actualized, and utility based, it turns out that I do own more stuff than I thought that edges up the line towards being socially actualized. I never realized before this that an awful lot of my clothes are in my closet only because I need to look good for work (because it is important what people think of your attire)
I still tended towards the self/utility end of the spectrum, but it was surprising to me how often I found myself at the opposite end...
I discovered through this process that the utility/pleasure axis is easy to define. My tools are a great example. We own tools to do work. But some of the tools that I own also happen to involve a process that I really enjoy. This is the reason I spend so much time in the garage.
The self/others axis also works in this example. I dont think that I own many tools that I would really feel compelled to show off to somebody. If I purchase a better, or fancier tool, generally it is because it does a better job than some other alternative, and that I will have a better time using it. This axis also has its pitfalls however. For instance, I have a really nice welder. I knew when I bought the thing that people I know would recognize it as a high-end piece. I also have to admit that this recognition is part of the reason I didnt buy a cheaper one.
I think that this has been a valuable exercise.
At the end of the day, it would seem as though the folks who find themselves charted to the self end of the graph are more satisfied with the things that they have than those who rest on the social end of it. I know that one of my greatest stressors is the times that I dont feel as though I stack up to those around me, whether it is stuff or ability at something. But I also know that I dont often find myself making those comparisons.
It would seem to me that if a person has stuff only for the purpose of impressing, it would be difficult to cope unless you were constantly getting more stuff. Once someone has seen that new thing, you arent going to get the same pleasure again from it unless you go get another thing. The show car world is a wonderful example of this. Think of some of the displays that these guys have got to show off their cars... But again, the social actualization can be very very pleasurable. It builds the ego. That is very powerful. People will put themselves in the poor house to get it.
Agrarians do things the other way. Their ego is very self-actualized. I tend to find myself most happy when I've been able to accomplish some new goal. If I have repaired a car, installed a new garbage disposal, remodelled some part of the house, these are the times when I feel the most valuable. Normally it is not something that anybody else notices out loud. I dont normally feel any real sense of comparison from it. I simply feel good about what I was able to do. That feeling, or the pursuit of it, has led to many long nights and sore backs. All worth it in the end. This feeling can be achieved in many ways, everyone has their own, for some its mastery of some sport, a new low score in golf, or as mentioned before, completion of a show car.
The long and the short of it is that I really feel more of a knowledge of self from this exercise. It has left me with a better understanding of wants versus needs, as well as what it is that motivates me personally.
I suspect that we all have the ideal of thinking that we are motivated more by ourselves than by what others may think. I also suspect that we may be surprised to find out how often in our lives it is the other way around... Again, its what makes us social beings. I would think that some of those people who rate as our best friends are the same ones who purvey a legitimate interest in our lives. It drives the social actualized nature of our beings.
Tell somebody that they've impressed you. You'll make their day.
---lifelong learner
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